Thursday, July 30, 2009

Sarge Would Like To Talk To You About Jerking Off

What is it with the Phillies announcers and their pornographic analysis of things. First we had Chris Wheeler saying how he wants to "rock around the cock tonight" and now, it's 4th-6th inning TV analyst Gary "Sarge" Matthews (Phils have a weird announcing system that was even weirder when Harry Kalas was alive) would like to tell you about masturbating jerking off. I feel like a lot of what I say is how AA put it, but it's true. You know how sophomoric I can be with announcer quotes. After all, I probably come up with more stretches than anyone else when it comes to twisting announcers quotes into something sexual/pornographic. But there are times, when you really don't need to twist what the guy said in order to make it sexual/pornographic. Take for example awful Phillies analyst, Gary "Sarge" Matthews. I'm not quite sure what exactly this was in the context of, but hey, this is advice that you will take for the rest of your life comes in this 8 second clip.



"What's going to happen is you jerk off the ball. You almost here want to let this guy jam you and when it cums comes, it cums comes."

Too funny! And yet, it's so true.

Sarge Matthews would like you to know, how to "jerk off" a ball (Awful Announcing)
Audio: Sarge Matthews on jerking off the ball (Hugging Harold Reynolds)

2 comments:

  1. That's great!

    I have a great story though for you. Do you want me to e-mail it to you or talk about it tonight at the live blog?

    It has to do with Harry Kalas and the Giants announcers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You can email it toi me if you want to.

    ReplyDelete

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