Rule #1 Of World Series Ring Heists: Do The Opposite Of Everything This Guy Did

Oy ve. I can't.......I don't even know where to begin with this.

There are a bunch of dumb criminals in this world. And then there is this guy who tried to steal 3 World Series rings and well, I'll just say How To Steal A World Series Ring 101 would have been quite a useful course for this guy. Via Big League Stew

A Phillies fan has been charged with stealing three 2008 World Series rings from a Citizens Bank Park office during Thursday's Game 2 loss to the Rockies.

According to Philadelphia police, 22-year-old Matthew Mervine attended the game dressed as a masked "Rockies Killer" — the Philadelphia Inquirer actually took a picture of him — and was ejected by security officials during the game for acting too rowdy.

But instead of heading home, Mervine allegedly stole three World Series rings — valued at about $1,100 apiece — from a ballpark office. Police say they know this because a security camera caught him in the act shortly after he filled out a job application to work at the park.

Also filed as evidence? The job application Mervine left behind, complete with all of his contact information. Whoops!

Police say they later recovered the rings — which were made for team employees and cost substantially less than the $11K versions given to players — at Mervine's home. There's no word on whether he was still wearing the "Rockies Killer" mask when arrested (though I have a strong suspicion and hope that he was).

Nothing cracks me up more than a great dumb criminal story and boy oh boy, I'm pretty sure that this one has to be one of the best we've seen in baseball in quite some time. I mean good grief, could he have made it any easier for him to be found? Actually, the only thing he did not do was wear a shirt that says "I'm About To Steal World Series Rings Arrest Me Now Please!"

Oh, and I'd be willing to pay upwards of a million dollars* for that mug shot with him wearing the Rockies killer mask.

*slight exaggeration

/RJBO'd.