Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Eagles Are Going Up Against A Bunch Of Perverts

While this is currently a rumor and is more than likely false, this rumor is just too hilarious to pass up. Remember ye olde' cruise ship scandal with the Vikings? Well not exactly that dramatic (yet), this story could easily be making waves in the next few days if there is any more confirmation of this. And guess what, it is somewhat similar to Cruise Ship Gate. From an anonymous tipster at Deadspin, I present to you Illicting Sex With Underage Girls Gate starring Vikings QB Tavaris Jackson and WR Sidney Rice.

"I went to high school at Cretin-Derham Hall, the sports powerhouse boasting alums such as current Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd, Joe Mauer, Paul Moliter, Chris Weinke, and Steve Walsh. I have a tip for a story that is potentially national-news worthy, especially now with the Vikings in the heated playoff contention. Anyways, around early August, rumors started flying around among the youth of St. Paul that two seniors (Class of '09) had illicit relationships with none other than Tarvaris Jackson and Sidney Rice of the Minnesota Vikings. According to stories, the two girls, seventeen at the time, were eating at a swanky restaurant in downtown Minneapolis, when someone paid for their entire bill. The gentlemen introduced themselves as Jackson and Rice, and took the two females (to their credit, smoking hot, and easily the most attractive girls in the school) back to one of their places for a night of drinking. Then, for the next week or so, Jackson and Rice would occasionally pick the girls up from St. Paul. The stories reached a climax when Rice rolled by a house party that a lot of friends and I were at to pick up one of the girls. Though I did not witness this, apparently my dealer sold him weed. Eventually, Jackson and Rice found out that the girls were underage and appropriately cut everything off. Somehow, the press found out, and sent reporters to the high school to interview the principal and other administrators about the situation. No charges have been pressed as there is some grey area as to what actually went on behind closed doors. I was told that the Minneapolis Star Tribune and St. Paul Pioneer Press have waited to release the story until Jackson or Rice gets in the news for another reason. This is where your tremendous opportunity to crack the story wide open lies. It would definitely take some investigative research, such as contacting the two newspapers to get sources, but trust me, they know all about the incident. I'm not sure if this story is actually even newsworthy for Deadspin, but I think it's hilarious, probably because of my bias that I know the girls. Should you in fact decide to pursue the story, I would ask that my information be kept anonymous because the two girls involved are acquaintances. I would love to be a Deadspin correspondent from the Twin Cities should you need such services in the future. It's actually a bigger sports market than people give it credit for. Hope this isn't a waste of your time, I can't believe I didn't think to email about this earlier."

That is HI-LAR-IOUS! Again, probably not true given the nature and the timing, but with the past history that certain Vikings have who can be surprised. Too funny.

Deadspin Deleted Scenes: The One With Chris Berman's Holiday Wishes (Deadspin)

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