Methinks Wade Phillies Will Be Out Of A Job Soon

If that look from The Plastic mean does not scream "You fucking pussy! You have embarrassed me once again in a big game and have made me, The Great Jerry Jones, look like a complete imbecile, when really you are the retarded imbecile that is fucking me up and fucking my team up and you and your fucking piece of shit coaching team can go rot in an eternal hell of 10,000 degrees", then I don't know what does.

Dallas Cowboys Cut Nick Folk; Sign Kicker Cut For Familiar Reason

If ever there was a hilarious irony of ironies, it is this one. Honestly when I first found out about this threw a tweet of Mort's, I thought he was kidding, joking, and/or being sarcastic. But apparently not. The Dallas have cut Nick Folk, after missing what would have been a definite game-clinching kick against the New Orleans Saints. To replace him, the Dallas Cowboys have signed Shaun Suisham, the Redskins kikcer who was cut after missing a definite game-clinching kick against the New Orleans Saints. From Dallas News

The club signed Shaun Suisham, who kicked in six games with the Cowboys from 2005-06, according to a source, on Monday not long after he finished an audition at Valley Ranch with four other kickers.

To make room for Suisham on the 53-man roster, the Cowboys cut Nick Folk.

Folk had made just 18 of 28 field goal attempts this year and had a miss in his last six games, including a 24-yarder Saturday at New Orleans.

Suisham's time in Washington came to a close two weeks ago after a missed 23-yard attempt against the Saints. He made 18-of-21 kicks on the season, however is three misses cost the Redskins' two wins.

And now he gets to return to FedEx Field Sunday with the Cowboys able to inch closer to a playoff spot with a victory against the Redskins.

The Cowboys worked out five kickers Monday, including Suisham and Steven Hauschka, at Valley Ranch, but Folk and David Buehler did not take part in the competition.

Oh. My. Gosh.

This is a joke, right? Please tell me it is. And if it's not, well, it certainly has me on the ground laughing my fat ass off. The Plastic Fucker cuts a horrible kicker who misses clutch field goals and in return signs a horrible kicker who misses clutch field goals. Incredible idiocy. And to think that another kicker they worked out, Hauschka, was also cut for the same reason, although he just did not have the opportunity to shank one against the New Orleans Saints. Damn the fact the Ravens never played them.

I think at this rate, the Cowboys would be better off just giving the job to David Buehler. He may be as bad or even worse than Folk and Suisham, but hey, he has the best name ever for a kicker, and when you are as bad as most Dallas Cowboys kickers have been this decade, that is honestly the most redeeming quality the Cowboys have had in a kicker in quite some time.

Jerry Jones Does Not Care About The Safety Of The Cowboys Fans

If there is one thing that all of America outside of Dallas, Texas can agree on, it is this: Jerry Jones is one of, if not the biggest douche bags in all of sports.

Say hi to Mike. Mike was at the grand opening of JerryLand on Sunday night and was not happy with his experience in the party pass area (a.k.a. the portion of the staduim that is standing room only). Mike wrote to the Cowboys expressing his disapproval and requested a refund. This is the response that Mike got back from the Dallas Cowboys. Via The Blue Star Blog

I sincerely apologize for the problematic experience you and your family endured on Sunday. In order to help make the situation right, we can offer you a refund or comp party passes to another game this season.

If you would like a refund, Ticketmaster will issue the refund for your party pass purchase. Please contact them at 1-800-653-8000. We have communicated with Ticketmaster, and they are aware of the refund process for this event.

If it helps at all, the only reason so many party passes were sold for Sunday's game was to break the attendance record. I can assure you that only 1/3 of that amount of party passes will be sold for each game going forward...10,000 max instead of 30,000. That was a one-time deal for the grand opening of the stadium.

Why am I not surprised?

Not only does selling so many tickets like that create for unpleasant experiecnes, but it can also be a real danger especially when you are dealing with standing room only. It only takes one big Cowboys play for a bunch of drunken idiots in that SRO section to go nuts and start something that could result in the fatality of an innocent fan (although one does have to question how innocent they really are if they like the Cowboys of all teams).

The Cowboys are denying that they put that last paragraph in the letter. I don't know if that means that they are denying that there was not 30,000 there or if they are denying that every other game will have 10,000 there. Whatever it is, it is supreme idiocy at its very finest and I hope that one day Ol' Plastic Face will get what is coming to him (i.e. a reality check).

LOL DALLAS!!!

'Twas a long and miserable day of football for me. Sure the Pats lost to the Jets and the Phillies reduced their magic number to 6, but all of those seemed small or minor in comparision to the poor play by the Eagles defense and special teams and their lack of discipline, despite the fact that Kolb played fairly decent (2 of his 3 INTs came in garbage time in the 4th quarter). But watching the Sunday night game between the Giants and the Cowboys made everything better. Sure I'm an Eagles fan and I'll regret cheering for the team that will probably finish the season with a better record, but there I really could not help myself. The Giants, while rivals of the Eagles, do have some respect from me. They are a classy organization, have an excellent defense, and I do have a lot of respect for Eli Manning. Sure most of it came during Super Bowl XLII, but nonetheless, he and that team earned my respect and appreciation and it has since lasted. It does not mean I necessarily like them or cheer for them on a weekly basis. It does not mean I'm a fan. But I can respect a decent rival as is the case with the Giants. Same with Tom Coughlan and that coaching staff. The same, however, cannot be said about Dallas. Jerry Jones is a compete media whore and a douche bag, Tony Romo is way overrated and his 3 INTs, albeit one was a complete fluke off of Witten's shoe (at the same time, it can be said that he never should have thrown a ball to Witten at his shoe), they signed TO and Pacman just for attention, and Wade Phillips is completely incompetent (although, as an Eagles fan, that's not such a bad thing). I don't like them and I don't respect them. Which is why, on a day where nothing seemed to be going right, this video puts a huge smile on my face.



Fuck JerryLand, Fuck The Cowboys, Fuck Tony Homo, and Fuck The King of Plastic himself, Jerry Jones. Good for you Lawrence Tynes, cherish this victory and remember it for the rest of your life.

Surely I'll regret my celebratory remarks when the Eagles lose out on the NFC East title by 1 game and the Cowboys finish an abysmal 5-11, but with both teams sitting at 1-0 to start the game and a result that is currently of utter irrelevence to the Eagles woh are yet to play any divisional games, I could not be more happier.

Jerry Jones Will Not Lower The Scoreboard This Year

We all know the controversy surrounding the Dallas Cowboys after Trepasso (Most. Talked about punter in the pre-season. Ever) punted the ball and hit the giant scoreboard. Well, it appears as if the NFL will not force to Jones to raise the scoreboard this year (even though he is doing it for a U2 contest anyway) for football games. Keywords: this year. From the Associated Press

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Friday clarified rules on punts that ricochet off the high-definition monitors hanging over most of the field at the new Cowboys Stadium. Perhaps the key part of his announcement is that the guidelines cover only this season, an indication the league may force Jones to raise the boards before the 2010 season, which ends with the Super Bowl in his building.

The league clearly wouldn't want even the remote possibility of a championship decided by a ball hitting a TV screen within a punter's reach.

"We will continue to address the particular circumstances in Dallas, giving full consideration to the competitive, safety and fan experience issues involved," Goodell said in a statement. "The Cowboys have been fully cooperative as we have addressed this subject, and we will continue to work closely with the club on a longer term resolution."

Long-term changes can be made only at the annual rules meeting. However, Goodell noted that Rule 3, Section 1 of the league rule book allows for changes new policy to be enacted for the current season only.

Jones was not immediately available for comment.

The video boards are the signature item of the $1.15 billion stadium because of their clarity and size: 60 yards long, stretching from 20-yard line to 20-yard line. The problem is they are 90 feet above the field.

While that is 5 feet above the league's standard, the ease Tennessee punters had kicking balls into the boards before — and once during — last Saturday night's debut game indicates that standard might need revision.

It happens that Titans coach Jeff Fisher is head of the NFL's competition committee, which is the group that worked with the league office to figure out how to handle balls conking off the boards.

Fisher's complaint went beyond the height. He realized officials didn't even see the ball hitting the boards because they were all watching the action on the field; he threw his challenge flag to make sure they realized what had happened. The ruling was a do-over, but time was not put back on the clock.

The new rules — which apply to all stadiums even though it's only an issue at this one — address those concerns.

Downs will still be replayed "if a ball in play strikes a video board, guide wire, sky cam, or any other object," but now the game clock will be reset to the time when the first play was snapped. Any penalties during the wiped-out play won't count, except for personal fouls.

Also, if officials on the field don't see the ball hitting the board, the replay assistant can now initiate a booth review at any time. If the replay assistant doesn't ask for a review, coaches can challenge under normal challenge rules.

Well that would suck to waste a challenge because Jerry Jones is a complete moron who must realize that several punts would go 5 feet above the minimum height allowed for a scoreboard (Jones' justification is that all punts should be kicked to the corners). And while Jerry Jones is a complete douche bag for putting the NFL in this predicament to begin with, at least the NFL is doing the right thing by calling a resetting the clock and calling a redo on such a play. If the ball hits the scoreboard a lot this year, I would not be surprised if the NFL tells Jerry to raise that thing pronto in the off-season.