Tim Howard: World-Class Hypocrite

Let me be perfectly honest. I hope Bob Bradley gets sentenced to a lifetime of coaching soccer in northern Siberia. But through it all, there are still a few players on Bob Bradley's U.S. Men's National Team that you sort of like. For me, one of those was Tim Howard.

Here is one story ESPN, Alexi Lalas, John Harkes, and the rest of those butt-fucky schmucks not named Ian Darke will not tell you.

Tonight, the Philadelphia Union played a club friendly against English Premier side Everton. Now Everton are in their pre-season, so not everyone is going to play 90 minutes. I think everyone knows that. But for the Union's standpoint (because the game is being played at PPL Park), a major selling point of the match was Tim Howard. Unfortunately, at the last minute, Everton and Tim Howard announced that he would not be playing in the match.

Now normally, this slight mis-communication could be understandable. While still a nuisance as the Union used Tim Howard as a major selling point to this match, we must understand this is Everton's pre-season and they may not want to waste their goalkeeping fixture in a meaningless match in Philadelphia.

The problem comes in when Tim Howard decides to lie about the whole thing. This is what Tim Howard told ESPN today in regards to not playing tonight in Philadelphia.

Those decisions are obviously made jointly, but unfortunately, they were made quite a long time ago. They don’t get made this week. Those types of things are discussed amongst ourselves months and months in advance.

Upon hearing of this statement, Philadelphia Union CEO Nick Sakiewicz told the following to Philadelphia Union writer Chris Vito.

"We're really surprised. One of the reasons we entertained Everton's phone call was because of Tim Howard and we were under the impression Tim Howard was playing."

Now why on earth would Sakiewicz get the impression Tim Howard was playing if the decision not to play Tim Howard was made months ago. Well, when this friendly was first announced back in April 2011, Tim Howard had the following to say.

“Philadelphia Union is a fantastic club and I’m really looking forward to playing against them,” said Howard. “Nick Sakiewicz brought me through the ranks when I was younger, I’m friends with members of their coaching staff, and one of my best friends, Danny Califf, plays for them. It's a club whose results I always look out for and hope they do well.

“It will be a tough game for us. They're going to be in the mold of their manager, Peter Nowak. He's a tough, hard-nosed former Polish international who doesn't back down. I know for a fact from being very close to him that he expects nothing less from his team as well.”

Tim Howard: World-Class hypocrite.

(h/t The Brotherly Game)

Dodger Fans Let Silly No-Hit Bid Interrupt Much More Interesting Beach Ball Game

Last night, Hiroki Kuroda took a no-hitter into the 8th inning. An at best middle of the rotation starter was on the verge of history when, all of a sudden, a beach ball lands on the field out of nowhere. Nice timing, Dodgers fans. Vin Scully is not amused by your classlessness.



Perhaps it is not a coincidence that it was later in the 8th inning that Shane Victorino hit a single to right field to break up the no-hitter. Good. Dodgers fans and their lackadaisical attitude did not deserve to see that no-hitter completed last night. Really? Throwing a beach ball on the field while you're own pitcher is throwing a no-hitter in the 8th inning? How classless can you get?

(Video courtesy of Awful Announcing)

Injury Bug Bites Again As The Flyers Lose The Heart And Soul Of Their Team

There are certain guys on the ice who do all the little things so well, that they become just as vital, if not more so than the playmakers, snipers, and the strong defensemen. For the Flyers, that player is Ian Laperriere. And now Ian Laperriere is going to be out for at least a month with a brain contusion and a slight concussion. From Flyers beat writer Tim Panaccio.

Forward Ian Laperriere, who suffered a fracture of the right orbital bone blocking a shot in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference quarterfinals against New Jersey, has a concussion, and, even more dangerous, a brain contusion.

He is out indefinitely and likely won’t play again this spring.

“I will play with injuries, but not to my brain,” Laperriere told CSNPhilly.com.

Laperriere’s eye injury does not require surgery.

Laperriere was examined by doctors here and in Pittsburgh on Tuesday where Joseph Maroon, the vice-chairman of neurological surgery at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, confirmed he had suffered a brain injury after reviewing a CT scan.

While some Flyers fans will want him to return ASAP, I am of the mindset that he will be better off sitting out the rest of the playoffs for the simple fact that if he is out for at least or even about a month, that puts us late in the conference finals and possibly into the Stanley Cup. If the Flyers make it that far, that likely means that his likely call-up, Andreas Nodl, has done a fine job and the Flyers have done a fine job at rallying around the injuries. Lappy is a fucking warrior and as much as I know he wants to play, it would kill me to see him comeback too soon and suffer a more permanent injury, especially with the brain involved.

For those that have not seen it yet and would like to know what kind of puck to the face it takes to knock out one of the game's good guys and tought as nails warriors, here is the slightly squeamish video.



Having taken a falling golf ball to the eye before, I honestly can't even watch that without seriously wincing in pain. For realz.

I have talked to people who were at that game Game 5 in Newark, and I can confirm those cheers that you heard immediately after the whistle, were cheers of Devils fans, presumably cheering the fact that Laperriere got hurt. Classless. Classless. Classless. Yeah, I know that Philly fans get the rep for cheering an unconscious Michael Irvin (and the same three words that I described those Devils fans can be used to describe those Philly fans: Classless. Classless. Classless.), but how many of you heard about those evil Devil fans cheering an injury to one of the game's toughest, hardest, working, and classiest players? Again, I repeat, perception is not reality. Reality is reality and the reality is there are douche bag and jackass sports fans everywhere, only you just do not hear about them because it is much more funner to single out one city for having a bad reputation than to rail against North American sports fans everywhere, is it not?

Enough of my soapbox and onto an actual piece of goodness on the Flyers injury front. It appears that Simon Gagne, who was originally projected to be out til around the time of Game 6 of a Conference Semifinal series may return as soon as Game 3 of said series. His toe is healing at an extremely fast pace. OMGagne.

Fun Things Everyone Should Try At A Ballpark: Intentionally Vomiting On An 11-year Old Girl

While I sort of danced around this point in the last post through way-too-easy jokes about bandwagon Caps fans, it holds more water in this much more serious offensive fan post: one drunken moron does not a fan base represent. I may have had some fun making fun of a Caps fan who got caught on Canadian national TV for harmlessly pantomiming the moon, but this bit of fan unruliness from the Nationals-Phillies game on Wednesday night is really a toss up between one of the following: despicable act at a stadium or most despicable act at a stadium.

Meet Phillies "fan" Matthew Clemens. His idea of a good time? Going to a Phillies game, shouting constant vulgarities, drinking way too much, and intentionally vomiting on an 11-year old girl. Wait, was that last one?

I hope Mr. Clemens has a heck of a good time in jail. Seriously......what on earth is running through your mind, even at levels of epic intoxication, that make you think, "oh, I think I will stick my finger down my throat and vomit on this 11-year old girl."

As far as the vulgarities and lots of alcohol go, I think you can expect that just about anywhere. I will make a point crystal clear that people in the mainstream media will likely fail to get: Matthew Clemens is a jerk, a dumbass, a doofus, and a douche bag all wrapped into one. Philadelphia fans are not Matthew Clemens.

Now that we've got that out of the way, I will now announce my plan to go to Yankees Stadium this weekend and urinate on a toddler. Who's with me?

(Hat tip to Big League Stew and NBC Philadelphia)

This Caps Fan Takes Losing A Game 1 A Bit Too Far

I'm sure this is not the only ridiculous video of a crazy, pissed off fan that I will be posting from the Montreal-Washington series. No offense to any of my online friends who are Caps fans, I am not thinking of you when I says these things, but in a series involving two of hockey's most insufferable fan bases (hence last night's live blog title; fans of the punk rock band Rise Against might have been the only ones who fully got that), this drunken Caps fan scores a point to give the Caps fans the early lead in the "Who Can Have More Douche Bag Fans In One Series" competition.



Thank goodness Joe Buck does not call hockey games.

Anyways, yes, I am aware that one drunken idiot is just that, one drunken idiot, but seriously here. When you are dealing with 2 of the most insufferable hockey fan bases in the same series (you can add Pittsburgh, Detroit, and the Rangers to that list as well; I'd include Devils fans but they don't have enough fans to form a base) and someone does that and gets on TSN, it is going to get on here and I am going to take cheap shots at the entire group because frankly, it's too easy. Actually, come to think of it, he probably mouthed off f-bombs and pantomimed the moon because he thought the Caps had just been eliminated from the playoffs. Most members of The Bandwagon are probably not used to this whole 7 games in a hockey series deal. It's a foreign concept to them. Really. Look at this way, though,he has come all the way from last month when he learned for the first time who the great Oaf Koolaid was. Baby steps here, people. Baby steps.

Mike Boone Discusses Comparing Flyers To Nazis; Fields Question From Yours Truly

I posted a story the other day about Montreal Gazette writer Mike Boone who compared the Flyers to Nazis. Well, the Flyers blog for SB Nation, Broad Street Hockey, got in contact with Mike Boone and conducted an interview for their podcast, Broad Street Hockey Radio.

They discussed Boone's comments in an interview as Boone tries to give some context to his quotes and tries to elaborate what he meant by his comment when he wrote, "
There's not a franchise in sports I hate more than the Philadlphia Flyers. [....] No, you'd have to have an Olympic Games flashback to 1936 and watch the pride of Hitler's Germany marching into the Berlin stadium to match the feeling of revulsion I experience every time I see the Flyers play."

If the story interested you at all, then it is definitely worth a listen as he does not back down from the questions and he defends the comments. Now whether or not you think his defenses are legitimate or complete B.S., well, that will be your call.

Now we do this blogging as a way to express our opinions on matters in sports, but let's be realistic, a lot of our intended audiences never read what we write. Actually, I'd be shocked and stunned if an Eagle ever read some of my Andy Reid criticisms or if NBC actually read all of our comments regarding NBC and their terrible coverage of the Olympics.

But when it came to Mike Boone and his Nazi-hating ways, BSH Radio gave us the opportunity to leave him a pre-recorded message for him respond to over the air on the podcast. Well, I called and left my message and what do you know, it got played over the air on the most anticipated BSH Radio Podcast yet. I'm sure we've all dreamed about letting some of the people that we write about personally know how we feel, well, I was given that chance with Mike Boone and a small part of this podcast is the result of it.

The interview is right at the beginning and is approximately 19 minutes long (they discuss more topics aside from Boone and Nazis after the interview so that is why the thing at the end says 41 minutes) so sit back, relax, and enjoy! If you don't have time to sit back and relax but still want to listen to me, I come in at the 13:45 mark, however, if you do have time, I would recommend giving the whole interview a listen.

Mike Boone Discusses Comparing Flyers To Nazis; Fields Qu...

Justin Feinberg's Podcast

So Apparently I'm A Nazi Fan

And you thought T.J. Simers' slander of the Phillies and Phillie fans were bad. Compared to the vitriol that Mike Boone of the Montreal Gazette wrote Saturday concerning the Flyers, Simers was extolling every great virtue this city has ever stood for.

Because frankly, in comparison to Mike Boone, Simers was lavishing the city with wonderful compliments of how nice we were.

Frankly, there's no way I can effectively set this up, so I'll just paste this quote, and well, all I will tell you is that this was published by a Montreal Gazette writer.

There's not a franchise in sports I hate more than the Philadlphia Flyers.

Not the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Not the New York Yankees.

Not the Dallas Cowboys or L.A. Lakers.

No, you'd have to have an Olympic Games flashback to 1936 and watch the pride of Hitler's Germany marching into the Berlin stadium to match the feeling of revulsion I experience every time I see the Flyers play.

Especially against the Canadiens.

You know? If you're going to call our team Nazis, could you at least do us the courtesy of spelling the name of our city right? THANK YOU!

Seriously. What a classless douche bag.

The only credit I will give him is that he will be appearing on Travis Hughes' Broad Street Radio podcast for the Flyers SB Nation blog Broad Street Hockey. Believe me, I'll be listening to that one.

Seriously. He equated the Flyers to Nazis. Our aggressive style of hockey is now apparently equitable to genocide of 6 millions Jews and starting the 2nd World War!

WE'RE NAZIS!

LET'S GO NAZIS! *CLAPCLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

As I type this post up, the Nazis lead the Habs 1-0 thanks to a goal by Danny Briere Erwin Rommel.

The Captain of the Flyers Mike Richards The leader of the Nazis Adolf Hitler has scored to give them a 2-0 lead over the Canadiens.

If the Flyers really are like Nazis, then this first period has been a blitzkrieg thus far.

Could Somebody Please Give Keith Olbermann A Fucking Clue In This World???

It's no secret that Keith Olbermann is a blasted imbecile not worthy of covering politics in Lost Springs, Wyoming (population: 3), but the stunt he pulled tonight is taking that to a whole different level and then some.

To use the quotes of Olbermann himself, it's not a left and right issue. It's a matter of "professional journalism" and "professional integrity" of which Keith Olbermann has completely none of. Fuck, he has less than none.

Last night, Olbermann chimed in his 2 cents on the election with this "Quick Comment", which in it's own right is quite despicable.



Yes, he just did say that to the man that one of the most liberal states in the country voted for as Senator, but regardless, he can have his opinions, however misguided and misplaced that they are.

But, the stunt that he pulled today irks me to no end. Either out of request from many others or to try and prop up ratings so people can watch him eat crow, Olbermann advertised an apology to that Quick Comment.



Basically what Olbermann wants is proof that Scott Brown is not a homophobe and a racist and he is claiming that you can't do that.

WELL NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!

Of course you can't do that. You absolutely cannot disprove that accusation.

And do you want to know why. Because things are NEVER what they are not. You cannot define something or someone by what they are not. You can only define it by what it is, so when Olbermann makes the wild, sad, and pathetic accusations that Scott Brown is a "homophobic racist" and then asks you to show him that he's not, basically he is asking people to do exactly what you can't do. Define someone by showing us what he isn't. What Scott Brown isn't: Someone from Mars, born in Jamaica, grew up with 253 dogs. Do you get my point? There are an infinite number of things that something is not so it is not a valid argument to make accusations about someone and then as proof of your argument say that "oh, it must be true, because there is just no evidence to say that is not true". You can't tell us who they are by saying what they are not.

And what is he going to do to disprove such accusations? Go out and hug a gay black man? But then Olbermann will counter that it was fake and contrived and that it is not actual proof that Scott Brown is not a homophobic racist. And wait, he added sexist. Is Scott Brown supposed to go out and hug a gay black lady? Again, it will look contrived and Olbermann would call Brown out on that. Either that or somehow he will spin it into a case of statutory rape. He's already done the same type of thing to Scott Brown once, why not try to do it again?

My bottom line is this: It does not matter if you are a Democrat or a Republican, a liberal or a conservative, a far-left extremist or a far-right extremist, Keith Olbermann is the fucking scum of this earth and if you watch his show and think everytime Olbermann slams him you go in your mind "Fuck yeah, Olbermann rocks, he just slammed yet another douche bag Republican. He was such a great SportsCenter guy and now he is such a great Political Mastermind OMFG!!!!!!" then you are just as bad and are just as much scum of the earth as Olbermann is. No, I'm not being sarcastic and I am not exaggerating this. I am dead fucking serious. If you agree with this bastard and if you think it is okay to go on a national cable TV network and say the kind of shit that he spews then you are politically the worst of the worst of this country and if you never open your mouth again about politics, then this world will be better for it. If you want an intelligent liberal political show, go watch Rachel Maddow at 9 PM, on right after Olbermann's infamous Countdown.

Normally I would end this post with another call to Fire Keith Olbermann Now!, but seeing as NBC-Universal is run by a bunch of incompetent morons, that call would fall on deaf ears upon any NBC-exec that happened to stumble upon the ramblings of a 20-year old college student of no particular interest. Instead I'll just state that I am embarrassed that I share the title of American with this douche bag piece of shit and his staunch supporters.

Embarrassed.

Dave Spadaro Is A Disgrace

This story made its way about the blogosphere last night and this morning and I felt the need to address it before anybody jumps to conclusions that they should not.

Dave Spadaro is a member of the Philadelphia Eagles PR department. He is the Eagles webmaster and if you ever want to know how the Eagles are spinning a certain story, you can be sure to check out his columnn. Basically the guy is a joke in this town as it is.

Well, as an employee of the Philadelphia Eagles, they were able to get him a credentialed media pass to be on the field and do a feature to be put up on the Eagles website, philadelphiaeagles.com

Want to know what he had put up on the website? Check this bit of classless idiocy out.



No, no, you saw right. That was Dave Spadaro, an employee of the Eagles and someone who was given a special pass to be on the field and issue a report for the Eagles' official website, spitting on the star at Cowboys Stadium. How classless and disrespectful can you get?

Now if you thought that bit of classless idiocy was funny, wait until you read his "apology".

As you may have seen, I went too far with my Spudcam video prior to Sunday's game against the Cowboys. Acting alone, and without permission from the Eagles organization, I walked out to the middle of the field at Cowboys Stadium and spit on the Cowboys star, and for that I deeply apologize to the outstanding Cowboys organization and the fine people there, from Jerry Jones to the rest of the team.

It was not my intention to insult the Cowboys. It was my intention to enjoy the spirit of a great sports rivalry, and I clearly went over the line and acted unprofessionally. The Cowboys have always been gracious hosts and I appreciate the relationship I have with the friends I have there.

Spudcam is a feature that has become very popular here, and the goal of Spudcam is to provide a unique perspective of the game-day experience. We here at PhiladelphiaEagles.com strive to do anything and everything to bring our fans as close as possible to the action, to enjoy the team they love on an every-day basis. I try to have fun with Spudcam and to put the camera in places that cameras normally don't go.

I took it to the extreme here, and admit that I have done so in other situations this year. Again, it is all done in the spirit of pre-game fun, to get excited about the game, to show the fans at Lincoln Financial Field and those on the road what happens behind the scenes on game days.

I admit I get carried away with my love of the Philadelphia Eagles, and if this is a crime, I am clearly guilty. Game days are an incredible experience for me. The will to win is unlike anything I have ever felt. The angst and the tightly-knotted stomach and the ups and downs of 60 minutes of Eagles football leave me thoroughly drained -- win or lose -- and I enjoy having the opportunity to communicate that to the many great Eagles fans who follow this team on a (many-times) daily basis.

I appreciate the support of the Eagles organization as we take this web site to new levels. I have made many mistakes in my excitement over the years communicating my love of the Eagles to you, and the franchise has always backed me. There are times when my enthusiasm has to be reined in by many within the Eagles, who have always made sure to let me know when I've exceeded the boundaries of professionalism.

Again, I apologize to those whom I have offended by my actions with Spudcam. I acted in an unprofessional manner and I am deserving of the punishment coming my way, and of the scorn of Dallas fans and those who did not appreciate my actions. I am responsible for my work and I will stand up to the criticism.

Dan Levy pointed this out on his podcast today, but while I don't necessarily have a problem with his apology, the way he portrays himself is simply pathetic. He is a PR guy and a webmaster for the team, nothing more nothing less, he has never played professionally for the Eagles, yet reading this and his remarks about how much he loves the team and how he is so anxious with every snap do-da do-da, you would think that he was the Eagles' star player. What a buffoon. And I thought that about him before this craptastic display of douchebaggery and classlessness.

I can assure you that Dave Spadaro does not represent my thoughts, point of view, or that of any rational Eagles fan. All of the Twitter accounts that I follow, and believe me, I follow some accounts of some hardcore fans and bloggers, all were disowning him and saying how much of a douche bag he was.

And yeah, that's about all that Dave Spadaro is: a douche bag Eagles shill that represents the team only through webmastering, spouting off Eagles talking points, and through paycheck only.

Pete Carroll Is Not A Fan Of You Calling A Timeout When He Is Taking A Knee

With 50 seconds left and down by 14 points, UCLA failed to convert a 4th down thus sealing a 21-7 victory for USC. As Matt Barkley took his first knee, Rick Neuheisel called a timeout perhaps to fight to the last whistle for his kids or just to get under the skin of Pete Carroll. If the latter was the case, then mission accomplished. While the timeout is not on the video, Carroll's response to that timeout and the aftermath of it all is.



Simply classless. While I can see the justification for the timeout, Carroll had no business throwing that hail mary TD pass to rub it in or what not especially after he cried foul when Jim Harbaugh and Stanford did the exact same thing to him. What a classless hypocrite Carroll is.

And then UCLA took it far by marching out on the field like that and while my amygdala would have enjoyed a good SoCal brawl, it would have been a black mark on college football that never would have been forgotten and forever looked down upon.

Oh well. All I can tell USC, USC fans, and Pete Carroll is have a fun trip to the Emerald Bowl! May the Emerald Nuts be extra nutty for you guys. Or something.

Matthew Fleishman Does Not Take Kindly To Spelling A Name Differently

Ah yes, sometimes editors are enemies, and sometimes they are our best friends, exposing writers for who they really are and unintentionally humiliating them in the process. This is one of those latter cases.

We all remember back in the summer before the tradeline, right? Then we all know that the Blue Jays were asking several players from the Phillies for Roy Halladay, one of them being outfielder Dominic Brown.

Well, it turns out that technically there is no Dominic Brown on the Phillies. No, he was not traded and no this was not an imagined player. The media made a gigantic blunder. They had been spelling his name wrong the whole time! It's not the traditional Dominic Brown, but the correct spelling is Domonic Brown. This happened a few months ago.

So why am I bringing it up now?

Meet Matthew Fleishman of the Bucks Local News. He penned an article today on the Phillies hot stove. I don't know if any of you know this, but when writers want to denote something to the editors for an explanation that is not to be published they open up a parenthees and start a statement with *NFP:, which is short for Not For Publication. In said article Fleishman had one of these notes. It accidentally got published in the article. Now Fleishman is an apology to Domonic Brown. Why is that, you ask? While the actual article has since been taken down, Big League Stew managed to get a screenshot before it was.

So Domonic is an idiot because his parents spelled his name differently? I see....

To Fleishman's credit, he has issued an apology stating that "The only idiot in this case is me" but sometimes, it is best to get those notes to the editor in sticky note form, personal message thru Facebook, flat-out telling him, or just claim that idiots in the media have been spelling his name wrong the whole time, not Domonic himself.

(*NFP: FLEISHMAN IS STILL A MORON)

Phillies hot stove is heating up (Bucks Local News)

What Exactly Are You Trying To Tell Us About Kris Brown, Keith Olbermann?

Could somebody please put Olbermann out of his misery and just fire him for goodness sakes?

This story is more bizarre than anything and while he claims that he does not combine Countdown with FNIA, he indirectly did that here and then some.

Listen to this clip from the October 13 episode of Countdown where Olbermann blurts out one of the most random, bizarre, and inane insults in the history of cable news.

"[Sharice Carnie Nunez] received death threats and hate filled voicemails, all thanks to the total mindless, morally bankrupt, knee jerk fascistic hatred, without which Michelle Malkin would just be a big mashed up bag of meat with lipstick on it."

As crude, bizarre, odd, disturbing, and laughably inane as that insult is, generally Olbermann has to go way over the edge in order for me to comment on him on this blog. Well, even though that was a month ago, last Sunday, during Football Night in America, Olbermann did just that and the above clip as everything to do with it. I am disheartened that I have been unable to find this video, but this transcript provided by Newsbusters will have to work.

KEITH OLBERMANN: And then the Texans with a final drive, looking to set it on the shoulder and the feet of that guy, Kris Brown, [Matt] Schaub, Andre Johnson, seven yards, 14 seconds left, Schaub, Jacoby Jones eight yards down to the 24, and since Brown made it from 56, this should be a piece of cake. Kris Brown from 42 for the tie after the spike. They set it up for Brown to tie this game up in the waning second and he messes. Looks like a big bag full of mashed-up Kris Brown, and Indianapolis prevails by 20-17.

Can somebody please make sense of what a big bag full of mashed-up Kris Brown is? As disturbing as the Malkin was, the snide Brown remark, while probably intended to either poke fun at himself or plug his show by throwing out an allusion to an odd insult that made headlines over a month ago, is all the more disturbing. A big bag full of mashed up Kris Brown....is that suggesting that someone physically tore him apart and mashed him up and put the remains in a bag? Is he alluding that Kris Brown laying on the on the turf upset that he just lost the game for his team is any equivalent to him being dead, in other words?

At first I thought he should just stop doing politics and stick to football and other sports, now it's become quite clear that he should not even be doing that.

Keith Olbermann is complete trash and the day that MSNBC/NBC/NBC-Universal finally has the balls to fire him will be one heck of a glorious day. Not only is he a mean, angry, spiteful, cowardly TV personality, his ratings are completely in the tank. In the summer of last year, he was competitive and even beat Bill O'Reilly in the key 25-54 demo once or twice. Now, Bill O'Reilly's key 25-54 demo has more viewers than Olbermann's total viewers!

Let me tell you what, if it was not for Officer Robert Powell, Keith Olbermann would win the FARNie for douchebag of the year easily. Yes, I would even vote for him over Jerry Jones and Colin Cowherd, and I've made no bones about how I feel about those two individuals.

Keith Olbermann, ladies and gentlemen, always the classy one!



There really are only so many ways to illustrate how despicable this man is. Please get him off the air now.

Great moments in broadcast journalism #426 (Olbermann Watch)

Jerry Jones Does Not Care About The Safety Of The Cowboys Fans

If there is one thing that all of America outside of Dallas, Texas can agree on, it is this: Jerry Jones is one of, if not the biggest douche bags in all of sports.

Say hi to Mike. Mike was at the grand opening of JerryLand on Sunday night and was not happy with his experience in the party pass area (a.k.a. the portion of the staduim that is standing room only). Mike wrote to the Cowboys expressing his disapproval and requested a refund. This is the response that Mike got back from the Dallas Cowboys. Via The Blue Star Blog

I sincerely apologize for the problematic experience you and your family endured on Sunday. In order to help make the situation right, we can offer you a refund or comp party passes to another game this season.

If you would like a refund, Ticketmaster will issue the refund for your party pass purchase. Please contact them at 1-800-653-8000. We have communicated with Ticketmaster, and they are aware of the refund process for this event.

If it helps at all, the only reason so many party passes were sold for Sunday's game was to break the attendance record. I can assure you that only 1/3 of that amount of party passes will be sold for each game going forward...10,000 max instead of 30,000. That was a one-time deal for the grand opening of the stadium.

Why am I not surprised?

Not only does selling so many tickets like that create for unpleasant experiecnes, but it can also be a real danger especially when you are dealing with standing room only. It only takes one big Cowboys play for a bunch of drunken idiots in that SRO section to go nuts and start something that could result in the fatality of an innocent fan (although one does have to question how innocent they really are if they like the Cowboys of all teams).

The Cowboys are denying that they put that last paragraph in the letter. I don't know if that means that they are denying that there was not 30,000 there or if they are denying that every other game will have 10,000 there. Whatever it is, it is supreme idiocy at its very finest and I hope that one day Ol' Plastic Face will get what is coming to him (i.e. a reality check).

Stephen A. Smith Goes On The Mark Levin Show; Claims There's A Government Takeover And Racism Is A Good Thing

Oh, Stephen, we have missed your inane rants!



At least SAS managed to make some sense with the Mike Vick comments. Other than that, I'm pretty sure he now needs surgery to get Mark Levin's head out of his rectum (yeah, it was that far up there).

Oh, and I would like to hear those positive qualities to racism of which he speaks. Incredible idiocy.

Today In Douche Bag Radio Interviews: Taylor Swift Goes On The MJ In The Morning Show

My NFL picks for this week are coming up later tonight (and a big surprise along with it), but for now, enjoy this interview from the MJ In The Morning Show where MJ tortures Taylor Swift about the Kanye West incident after polite requests not to talk about it, followed by a hilariously pathetic sequence where he tries to play the victim and goes on an inane rant about the whole ordeal.

"Do you think Kanye West has a mental problem?"

And MJ wonders why Taylor Swift and her publicist hung up......

Reason #650 Why I Am Glad That I Am Only A Teenager For 6 More Days

This coming Wednesday I will forever have gotten rid of the moniker that so many people in society look down upon. Yep, it's that dreaded "T" word that ends in "eenagers" and they are up to their old tricks again. This time it's stealing a large aluminum #8 statue outside of Camden Yards built in commemoration of Cal Ripken, Jr. Seriously. Via CBS 13 WJZ

A large aluminum No. 8 that commemorates Cal Ripken's career was stolen from outside Camden Yards Tuesday night.

Police say the crime was caught on surveillance cameras.

Adam May reports the video helped lead police to the culprits.

The retired numbers in front of Camden Yards are very popular with fans.
They include Brooks Robinson's 5, Jim Palmer's 22 and Eddie Murray's 33.

The most popular with many fans is Cal Ripken, but his 8 was stolen and vandalized.

"I looked over, noticed something was wrong and said, 'Oh my goodness, they stole the number,'" said John Ziemann, deputy director of Sports Legends Museum.

Ripken's 8, unveiled in 2001, was taken and ripped apart with only the bottom sheet of aluminum left.

"We had two witnesses observe four white males take the statue from Camden Yards and drive off," said Baltimore City Police spokesman, Anthony Guglielmi.

It turned out to be an easy case for police.

Less than an hour after the witnesses came forward, police stumbled upon the statue on East Lombard St. when they were responding to a group of intoxicated men acting disorderly.

"Very plain view, sitting in the back of a pick-up truck. Case closed," said Guglielmi.

The suspects were identified as Gary Parker, 19, of Baltimore; Matthew Rayner, 19, of Chase; Patrick Reynolds, 18, of Middle River; and Jason Stoneberner, 19, of Essex.

Incredible idiocy. Those 4 drunken douche bags deserve to be punished to the fullest extent of the law. And I mean, really, no one is going to notice that a large #8 commemorating Cal Ripken, Jr is gone. And did they really think that no one would see them and if they did, to just keep quite and "cover" for them? Ugh.

And yes, I am aware that not all teenagers are complete douchenozzles and yes, I am aware that some 20+ people are total asswipes, but because of people like this (and there are a lot of them out there), teenagers get a bad rep. The sooner I distance myself from that moniker, the better. This Wednesday can't come soon enough....

(Hap tip to kt1000 for the tip)

Fire Keith Olbermann Now!

Due to popular demand, I have re-posted this Keith Olbermann rant over here, a blog for which I am admin. for. The reason for the deletion of the post was because the admin. for The O Files is a Keith Olbermann fan and was not happy. That admin. deleted it, not me. The rant is now here to stay for good.

I'll cut right to the chase. Watch this segment and tell me if you hear anything completely and utterly abnormal, wrong, and downright insulting and embarrassing.

Did you catch it? I'll even zero in on it even more in case you missed one of the most embarrassing, unnecesary, and hurtful things that Olbermann has ever said.

"In his nightly round of self-applause last night, designed to drown out the echo of daddy hitting him…" - Keith Olbermann about Bill O'Reilly

What the fuck Olbermann, you fat, arrogant, snide, obnoxious, Bill O'Reilly-Fox News obsessed douche bag? At what point is enough enough? It's not the criticizing of another TV personality or company that's the problem, like it or not it is part of the business and I'm fine with it, it's the lengths that he goes to do it. First of all, is it really necessary to correct O'Reilly for saying "Double-A" instead of "Triple-A". For all we know, he could have meant to say "Triple-A" and "Double-A" inadvertently came out instead. But when you start it out by joking about a matter that is so serious (child abuse), you crossed the line with me and I have absolutely had it with him. It's wrong, it's DAMN WRONG! You don't make that kind of reference, no matter how much you can't stand someone. And the sad part is, there is not a damn person at MSNBC willing to do something about it. If MSNBC wants to go liberal, that's fine, but bring in a credible liberal to host the 8 PM show. There's Rachel Maddow, who is a much better alternative to those that a fan of Fox News. She has people on her show that she disagrees with (something Olbermann never does), is actually funny (Keith Olbermann's schtick has gotten so old with me that I just can't laugh at anything he says), and is an all-round better program for a liberal like me to enjoy.

I have morals and values that I am proud of and I feel as if I can no longer keep them by being affiliated, even in the smallest way possible with this phony Edward R. Murrow wanna-be and The O Files blog that is filled with Bush Administration comparisons to the Nazi Administration that are downright wrong, not funny, insulting, and unwarranted. I don't believe that Bush was a great president at all (I strongly disliked him), but that comparison is wrong. I know you probably think that I have zero credibility, JC, because I bash Olbermann so much nowadays and strongly disagree with your views on Vick, but you have to believe me when I say that by comparing Bush to the Hitler and the Nazis, you only make yourself look like a fool. Even when I was an Olbermann fanboy when you first started this thing, I did not think those were warranted and not once did I laugh at them. And if my future employers ever find out about any affiliation I have with them, I may not get a job.

Oh, and as far as that mysterious under 35 demo (a demo only brought up by Olbermann), it turns out that Keith Olbermann completely lied about it. He even loses to FNC in that demo! From Mediaite

Well besides the fact that “35 and younger” isn’t exactly a usual demographic, according to Nielsen, this doesn’t appear to be accurate. The lowest age level would be the 18-34 demo, which O’Reilly still beat Olbermann in during July (140,000 to 124,000). The FNC host is winning by that same percentage in August so far.

The sad part is that that lie is about as unsurprising as a Washington Nationals loss and/or a New York Mets injury this year.

Fire Keith Olbermann Now!

Shane Victorino Has His Sights Set On Revenge

We all know about the now infamous beer throwing incident of last night, but there's another chapter yet to be written about it. Shane Victorino, not one to forgive and forget, is doing the right thing by filing a police report on the douche bag who spilled beer on him last night. From ESPN.com

A report for simple battery has been generated, and it's under investigation by Chicago police," CPD news affairs officer Michael Fitzpatrick said.

The Cubs will work with the police department to pursue the individual who threw the beer. The Cubs are utilizing all of their resources, including videotape of the incident.

"[The beer thrower is] probably at home laughing right now," Victorino said Thursday. "I just think he should be held accountable, that's it, nothing more than that. He should be held accountable, that's it ... but it is what it is. It's not like the first time I've seen it happen [at a ballpark]."

The Cubs talked to Victorino and Phillies manager Charlie Manuel after the game.

Cubs chairman Crane Kenney apologized in person to Victorino before the series finale. Cubs manager Lou Piniella and general manager Jim Hendry also offered apologies.

"That really ticked me off, to be honest with you," Hendry said Thursday on "The Waddle & Silvy" show on ESPN 1000. "There's no place for it. The Phillies are a good ballclub, and Shane's an outstanding player. It wouldn't matter who it is.

"You're risking a very dangerous thing here, if the beer splatters in his face and he misjudges that ball and it hits him in the head and broke his nose.

"It doesn't speak well for that man's behavior," Hendry continued. "We have great fans who come to the ballpark every day with a lot of enthusiasm, but something like that is inexcusable. We let Charlie Manuel and Shane know after the game we didn't think that was appropriate and certainly would look into pursuing whatever you could to sanction that kind of behavior for that young man in the future."

[....]

"If you think about how many years we've gone with no issues of any kind, including situations where we had our fans in some ways animated about our own players, or they weren't favorable towards them, [it's] an isolated instance," Kenney said. "We handled it the right way, we think, with the police.

"The Phillies have been great, we apologize to the Phillies. Shane's been terrific about it and he's cooperating, as we are with the CPD. We'll let them take it from here."

Kenney talked to Victorino about the incident.

"I said, 'Listen, sorry, it shouldn't have happened here. It's not a good reflection on our city or our organization and we're gonna do whatever we can to make sure that [the situation] is made right here.' He said, 'Listen, I know you are, and I appreciate your help.' "

Kenney said the fact the Cubs were losing 12-1 at the time was no excuse.

"It should never happen," he said. "I don't care if we're down 20-1. It's not right ever, and nothing excuses it."

Piniella also was unhappy with the incident.

"That shouldn't happen," Piniella said Wednesday. "It's not good sportsmanship. ... We apologize to Victorino and the Phillies for that."

It's about time we're going to see some accountability for douche bags like this at ball parks. And I would be just as happy if the jerkoff who shined a laser in the faces of Julio Lugo and Albert Pujols in Philadelphia get the same treatment, but sadly, it appears as if he got away as security never caught him and there's no video to find a guilty party as there is in this case. The point is, regardless of who it is, that kind of behavior is wrong and punishable by law, so why not do it. It's nice to see something a little more happening here than simple stadium justice which may not do a whole heck of a lot in the long run, whereas this might.

Shane Victorino, A Beer, And A Row Of Mostly Angry Cubs Fans

Victorino's been the center of quite a few controversies this week, although this one might be the funniest and the most memorable. I mentioned this story in the below open thread but it is definitley worth its own post. There is mega-idiocy, and then there is what you're about to see. A fly ball was hit deep to center and Victorino was there to make a catch when all of a sudden......



.....that beer came flying down from the front row and decked Shane Victorino! And while it was cut out of this video, the person who was initially escorted out by security was NOT the person who had in fact thrown the beer at Victorino. The person who did take the fall must have been pleading for his life as security came back down to that front row and immediately starting questioning the guy who did throw the beer, but he started instantly denying it (instant replay clearly showed this guy was guilty; something he obviously did not take into consideration when throwing the beer). And when everyone refused to point him out and when the guilty party would not admit his guilt, Chicago Cubs security made my day by escorting the WHOLE ROW out of the ballpark! And just because, it is fun to give faces to complete douche bags like this, thanks to Deadspin, you can now see for yourself, with the actual beer thrower and the guy who perpetrated this act clearly marked out by arrows courtesy of the aforementioned Deadspin.


Like I said numerous times before, all this was clear upon looking at a better quality replay. But alas, it must be said, stay classy, Cubs fans! Oh, and how about a 12-5 ass-whooping to go along with that?

Fire Ed Rapuano Now! (Updated With Video.....Sort Of)

As with all sports, baseball umpires are going to make bad calls that people won't agree with. However, there is a difference between bad calls and the utterly ridiculous and absurd. Today at Citizens Bank Park there was perhaps the most absurd call that an umpire has ever made in all of baseball. Okay, maybe that's a bit of an overstatement (see Denkinger, Don), but Ed Rapuano, the home plate umpire of the game, most definitley has it out for Philly fans and while it's hard to say that an umpire cost you a game that ended up being 12-3 Florida, one could make an argument that Rapuano did that today. The fiasco started in the bottom of the 6th inning when the score was just 3-1 Florida with 2 outs, 2 men on, and Ryan Howard at the plate staring at a full count. The pitch by Josh Johnson was low around the knees, but Rapuano called it a strike, ending the inning and the Phillies rally. Now that was a bad call.

What happened in the next inning would venture into the utterly absurd and ridiculous. Rodrigo Lopez threw a pitch the same spot that Johnson did to Howard in the top of the 7th inning. Rapuano from home plate then pointed to Shane Victorino, who was in centerfield, and ejected him from the game! Victorino's crime: he threw his arms up in the air at the obvious contradiction from the umpire. That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less (or at least nothing that anything indicated and I doubt Rapuano would have detected anything other than that; he was 200 feet away) The home plate umpire, from home plate, threw out the Phils centerfielder, who was in centerfield, for lifting his arms up at an obvious contradiction of ball-strike calls.

And that was just the start of it. Some Phillies started coming up and questioning Rapuano for his absurd and hasty decision to throw out Victorino daring to throw his arms over what he felt was bad umpiring, and then all of a sudden Victorino flies through that mob and started getting in the face of Rapuano. He had shoved Paul Bako out of the way and was in the face of Rapuano and may have literally been a half a second away from actually striking him (at which point, I think Victorino would have become the most popular Phillie of all time) until Bako and Howard were able to gain control of him before Victorino could land himself a suspension (although no one in Philly would have cared about that then). The rest of the inning was just a massacre as the Marlins hammered Rodrigo Lopez for 5-runs in that inning blowing the game open, something that the Marlins would continue to do for the rest of the game, hence the lobsided score. A score that does not indicate the decent performance put on by Jamie Moyer or the fantastic job that Tyler Walker did (Walker's actually been pretty solid for the Phillies) getting out of Moyer's mess which consisted of 2 men on and no one out in the top of the 6th and the inning ending still 3-1, the score of which it started.

And just reading the article on the game posted by MLB.com, the re-writing of history is already in progress. While it says that Shane Victorino was thrown out, no reason is given (I wonder why), but never does it say that Rapuano fucked up, things that would be apparent even to someone who has never watched baseball, and it does not say that Rapuano ejected him from behind home plate when Victorino was in centerfield, something that I don't think has ever happened before. I can't remember any other instance and Chris Wheeler, who celebrated a birthday today, could not recall any instance either of such a horrible, meaningless, immature ejection. Either Rapuano is a complete moron who does not know anything about baseball, or he knew he fucked up and decided that the best way to forget about the whole instance was to be a dickface about it and silence any and all doubters by ejecting anyone who dare challenge his "perfect" umpiring. Philly fans did get a small measure of revenge as he was booed and jeered for the rest of the game.

And not only are MLB playing the roles of history re-writers on the article, but thus far the only video that was posted of this on YouTube taken down less than 30 minutes after it was posted.

What Ed Rapuano did today was one of the worst, immature, absurd, ridiculous decisions that an umpire has ever made. Fire Ed Rapuano now! And if a video ever surfaces, trust me, I will get it to you as soon as possilbe. Check back frequently for updates.

Update: The abusrd has appeared to have just gotten absurder. Allegedly, Victorino was not even throwing his arms up at the umpire! From a fan comment on the above linked MLB article quoting someone from another forum:

"I was in sect 146 ( between Shane [Victorino] and Raul [Ibanez]) a drunken Idiot Fan started Yelling at Shane for hitting into a groundout, he was throwing his hands up and Victorino Responded, he actually kept on him, Victorino turned around but threw his arms up, Thats when he got tossed... All the Fans got on this supposed Phills fan, leading to he and his White Trash buddy both getting ejected.. I think thats why Victorno charged the Mound, thinking he wasnt even communicating w the UMP. If you were at the game or watching it on TV, you would have heard the fans getting on this idiot !!"

Update 2: MLB put up a highlights video with the Victorino incident in the highlights. And shockingly, they show most of what happened. You've heard my arguments, decide for yourself if it is a justified ejection.