Being An Idiot Has A Price, Folks

Helpful tip:  If you see a post on Facebook searching for people who committed a crime, don't respond saying you did it.

This concept sounds so obvious and so simple.  If you actually did do it and you confess, then you are an idiot. If you didn't do it, but instead just trying to be "funny," then you are an idiot.  Under no circumstances do you come out looking good.  Either you just gave yourself up on the internet for everyone to see and will be fined and do some time, or you are going to be highly inconvenienced by the police and have your false confession show up every time someone Googles your name.  And possibly get fined in the process.  This is simple.  Don't admit to doing something that is a crime on the internet.  I just wasted a paragraph on something a concept a 3rd grader would understand.  You know this.  I know this.

But amazingly enough, Edward Neary does not know this.  For if he did, he would not have responded to a Broad Street Hockey post searching for people who assaulted Rangers fans outside of Geno's Steaks following Monday's Winter Classic.  He has since deleted his posts, but thanks to the magic of screenshots, are still available online for all to see. You have to read this to believe it.

Edward Neary has spoken to the police.  He has since denied all involvement.  Someone who went to high school with Edward Neary tweeted to me that this is something he would do because he finds it "funny."  In case you have not yet figured out, at best, Edward Neary is guilty of being one of Philadelphia's dumbest people.  At worst, he is one of Philadelphia's dumbest criminals.  Because innocent and just trying to be "funny," or not, this has been on the internet and the top hits when you Google "Edward Neary".  Employers know what Google is.  His future employment may or may not have a few roadblocks in the future.

As for the Rangers fan that got beat up?  The Purple Heart recipient and off-duty cop has been released from the hospital after suffering bruises and a concussion.

The stupidity of humanity never ceases to amaze me, though by this point, it really should.

Dan Dierdorf Does Not Enjoy Streaking Fans

This video is all sorts of funny for so many reasons.



I now eagerly anticipate everyone saying that all New York fans are crazy drunks, just like Philly fans. After all, the same was true about Philadelphia fans once they had idiots running onto the field at Citizens Bank Park. New York Jets fans are going to get the same treatment because of this one dumb drunken idiot, no?

Dave Spadaro Is A Disgrace

This story made its way about the blogosphere last night and this morning and I felt the need to address it before anybody jumps to conclusions that they should not.

Dave Spadaro is a member of the Philadelphia Eagles PR department. He is the Eagles webmaster and if you ever want to know how the Eagles are spinning a certain story, you can be sure to check out his columnn. Basically the guy is a joke in this town as it is.

Well, as an employee of the Philadelphia Eagles, they were able to get him a credentialed media pass to be on the field and do a feature to be put up on the Eagles website, philadelphiaeagles.com

Want to know what he had put up on the website? Check this bit of classless idiocy out.



No, no, you saw right. That was Dave Spadaro, an employee of the Eagles and someone who was given a special pass to be on the field and issue a report for the Eagles' official website, spitting on the star at Cowboys Stadium. How classless and disrespectful can you get?

Now if you thought that bit of classless idiocy was funny, wait until you read his "apology".

As you may have seen, I went too far with my Spudcam video prior to Sunday's game against the Cowboys. Acting alone, and without permission from the Eagles organization, I walked out to the middle of the field at Cowboys Stadium and spit on the Cowboys star, and for that I deeply apologize to the outstanding Cowboys organization and the fine people there, from Jerry Jones to the rest of the team.

It was not my intention to insult the Cowboys. It was my intention to enjoy the spirit of a great sports rivalry, and I clearly went over the line and acted unprofessionally. The Cowboys have always been gracious hosts and I appreciate the relationship I have with the friends I have there.

Spudcam is a feature that has become very popular here, and the goal of Spudcam is to provide a unique perspective of the game-day experience. We here at PhiladelphiaEagles.com strive to do anything and everything to bring our fans as close as possible to the action, to enjoy the team they love on an every-day basis. I try to have fun with Spudcam and to put the camera in places that cameras normally don't go.

I took it to the extreme here, and admit that I have done so in other situations this year. Again, it is all done in the spirit of pre-game fun, to get excited about the game, to show the fans at Lincoln Financial Field and those on the road what happens behind the scenes on game days.

I admit I get carried away with my love of the Philadelphia Eagles, and if this is a crime, I am clearly guilty. Game days are an incredible experience for me. The will to win is unlike anything I have ever felt. The angst and the tightly-knotted stomach and the ups and downs of 60 minutes of Eagles football leave me thoroughly drained -- win or lose -- and I enjoy having the opportunity to communicate that to the many great Eagles fans who follow this team on a (many-times) daily basis.

I appreciate the support of the Eagles organization as we take this web site to new levels. I have made many mistakes in my excitement over the years communicating my love of the Eagles to you, and the franchise has always backed me. There are times when my enthusiasm has to be reined in by many within the Eagles, who have always made sure to let me know when I've exceeded the boundaries of professionalism.

Again, I apologize to those whom I have offended by my actions with Spudcam. I acted in an unprofessional manner and I am deserving of the punishment coming my way, and of the scorn of Dallas fans and those who did not appreciate my actions. I am responsible for my work and I will stand up to the criticism.

Dan Levy pointed this out on his podcast today, but while I don't necessarily have a problem with his apology, the way he portrays himself is simply pathetic. He is a PR guy and a webmaster for the team, nothing more nothing less, he has never played professionally for the Eagles, yet reading this and his remarks about how much he loves the team and how he is so anxious with every snap do-da do-da, you would think that he was the Eagles' star player. What a buffoon. And I thought that about him before this craptastic display of douchebaggery and classlessness.

I can assure you that Dave Spadaro does not represent my thoughts, point of view, or that of any rational Eagles fan. All of the Twitter accounts that I follow, and believe me, I follow some accounts of some hardcore fans and bloggers, all were disowning him and saying how much of a douche bag he was.

And yeah, that's about all that Dave Spadaro is: a douche bag Eagles shill that represents the team only through webmastering, spouting off Eagles talking points, and through paycheck only.

A Preliminary Legal Hearing, The World Series, Susan Finkelstein, And Double Penetration

I'm pretty sure this may top the decade as one of the most absurd stories. We all remember Susan Finkelstein, right? You know, the Phillies fan that wanted World Series tickets who instead of finding good deals on StubHub went to CraigsList and offered sex in exchange for World Series tickets? Yeah, that Susan Finkelstein.

Well, at the case preliminary hearing yesterday, quite a bit of stuff came out regarding the case. From the Philly Inquirer

Susan Finkelstein sat down with undercover Officer Michael Brady at a Bucks County bar and allegedly gave him a bold confession for a first meeting, according to his testimony yesterday at her preliminary hearing.

"I admit it. I'm a prostitute. I love sex. I'm a whore," the Bensalem police officer testified that Finkelstein had told him as he posed as "Bob" at Manny Brown's in Bensalem.

She talked about "how much she loved anal sex," he said, alleging later that she pulled up her denim skirt to expose her genital area and asked, "You wanna touch it?"

The Southwest Philadelphia woman believed Brady had three tickets to a Phillies-Yankees World Series game and, Bensalem police say, was willing to exchange sex for at least one.

In reality, it was a sting operation by Bensalem cops, who had found the "desperate blonde," as Finkelstein reportedly called herself, while trolling Craigslist for illegal activities.

Finkelstein, 43, was also told in an e-mail written by Sgt. Robert Bugsch that "Bob" had a brother, Bugsch said on the stand. That apparently upped the possibilities for Finkelstein.

For two tickets, she promised more, Brady testified. "I'll have sex with both of you. I'll let you DP me."

Magisterial District Judge Joe Falcone and Finkelstein's lawyer, William J. Brennan, asked Brady to clarify what the term "DP" meant and the officer answered, "Double penetration."

The real sad part of all of this? Finkelstein actually got into games 2 and 3 of the World Series. Sadly, though, she lost her job and is now labeled the city whore, so for Ms. Finkelstein, one has to wonder if the sex ad really was worth all of her troubles now.

Then again, maybe Freud was right and women are nothing but a bunch of pleasure seeking whores. Okay, so he did not use those words, but you Freudians out there know what I am talking about.

Want World Series Tickets? Then Become A Prostitute!

Over the course of history, there have been many interesting stories of people getting tickets to the World Series. Some of them have been successful. Others have failed, epicly. This story falls into the latter category. After all, what can possibly go wrong by literally selling yourself on Craigslist for World Series tickets? Well, this can. From 6ABC.com.

According to investigators, [Susan] Finkelstein posted an ad on the website Craigslist that read:

"DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX (Philadelphia)
"Diehard Phillies fan--gorgeous tall buxom blonde-- in desperate need of two World Series Tickets. Price negotiable--- I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!"

After that ad was posted an undercover officer from Bensalem, Pa. responded and, police say, Finkelstein offered to perform various sex acts in exchange for World Series tickets.

Finkelstein wouldn''t come to her door on Tuesday, but she was on her computer. She posted a message saying she's, quote: "wondering about the integrity of our police."

Action News has learned that she's also on the internet with her husband, offering to have sex with strangers. Finkelstein has posted on websites for swingers offering "anything goes for fun and sex."

That's not illegal, but police say she crossed the line when she offered sex in return for something of value.

Wow.....talk about desperation. Nonetheless, quite hilarious. I know people are very anxious to see the Phillies bang some in the World Series agianst the Yankees, but offering yourself to get banged is not quite the way to do it.

Wow......the irony in the last part of the last sentence was totally coincidental that I only realized after I typed it.

Rule #1 Of World Series Ring Heists: Do The Opposite Of Everything This Guy Did

Oy ve. I can't.......I don't even know where to begin with this.

There are a bunch of dumb criminals in this world. And then there is this guy who tried to steal 3 World Series rings and well, I'll just say How To Steal A World Series Ring 101 would have been quite a useful course for this guy. Via Big League Stew

A Phillies fan has been charged with stealing three 2008 World Series rings from a Citizens Bank Park office during Thursday's Game 2 loss to the Rockies.

According to Philadelphia police, 22-year-old Matthew Mervine attended the game dressed as a masked "Rockies Killer" — the Philadelphia Inquirer actually took a picture of him — and was ejected by security officials during the game for acting too rowdy.

But instead of heading home, Mervine allegedly stole three World Series rings — valued at about $1,100 apiece — from a ballpark office. Police say they know this because a security camera caught him in the act shortly after he filled out a job application to work at the park.

Also filed as evidence? The job application Mervine left behind, complete with all of his contact information. Whoops!

Police say they later recovered the rings — which were made for team employees and cost substantially less than the $11K versions given to players — at Mervine's home. There's no word on whether he was still wearing the "Rockies Killer" mask when arrested (though I have a strong suspicion and hope that he was).

Nothing cracks me up more than a great dumb criminal story and boy oh boy, I'm pretty sure that this one has to be one of the best we've seen in baseball in quite some time. I mean good grief, could he have made it any easier for him to be found? Actually, the only thing he did not do was wear a shirt that says "I'm About To Steal World Series Rings Arrest Me Now Please!"

Oh, and I'd be willing to pay upwards of a million dollars* for that mug shot with him wearing the Rockies killer mask.

*slight exaggeration

/RJBO'd.

Reason #650 Why I Am Glad That I Am Only A Teenager For 6 More Days

This coming Wednesday I will forever have gotten rid of the moniker that so many people in society look down upon. Yep, it's that dreaded "T" word that ends in "eenagers" and they are up to their old tricks again. This time it's stealing a large aluminum #8 statue outside of Camden Yards built in commemoration of Cal Ripken, Jr. Seriously. Via CBS 13 WJZ

A large aluminum No. 8 that commemorates Cal Ripken's career was stolen from outside Camden Yards Tuesday night.

Police say the crime was caught on surveillance cameras.

Adam May reports the video helped lead police to the culprits.

The retired numbers in front of Camden Yards are very popular with fans.
They include Brooks Robinson's 5, Jim Palmer's 22 and Eddie Murray's 33.

The most popular with many fans is Cal Ripken, but his 8 was stolen and vandalized.

"I looked over, noticed something was wrong and said, 'Oh my goodness, they stole the number,'" said John Ziemann, deputy director of Sports Legends Museum.

Ripken's 8, unveiled in 2001, was taken and ripped apart with only the bottom sheet of aluminum left.

"We had two witnesses observe four white males take the statue from Camden Yards and drive off," said Baltimore City Police spokesman, Anthony Guglielmi.

It turned out to be an easy case for police.

Less than an hour after the witnesses came forward, police stumbled upon the statue on East Lombard St. when they were responding to a group of intoxicated men acting disorderly.

"Very plain view, sitting in the back of a pick-up truck. Case closed," said Guglielmi.

The suspects were identified as Gary Parker, 19, of Baltimore; Matthew Rayner, 19, of Chase; Patrick Reynolds, 18, of Middle River; and Jason Stoneberner, 19, of Essex.

Incredible idiocy. Those 4 drunken douche bags deserve to be punished to the fullest extent of the law. And I mean, really, no one is going to notice that a large #8 commemorating Cal Ripken, Jr is gone. And did they really think that no one would see them and if they did, to just keep quite and "cover" for them? Ugh.

And yes, I am aware that not all teenagers are complete douchenozzles and yes, I am aware that some 20+ people are total asswipes, but because of people like this (and there are a lot of them out there), teenagers get a bad rep. The sooner I distance myself from that moniker, the better. This Wednesday can't come soon enough....

(Hap tip to kt1000 for the tip)

Donovan McNabb's Off-Season Home Looks A Little Different Right About Now

For those that don't know, Donovan McNabb makes his off-season home in the desert in Arizona, where he often spends his time working out with his receivers. Well apparently, a couple of crazed Cardinal fans got a hold of this information. From the Philly Inquirer

"Police arrested two Arizona Cardinals fans who they say burned messages in the front lawn of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb's home in Chandler, Ariz., a day before the NFC championship game.

Police tracked down the pair after they discovered a sticker containing the home address of one of the men on a cardboard sign left in McNabb's yard.

Rex Michael Perkins, 37, of Chandler, and Ryan Hanlon, 29, of Gilbert, were arrested on suspicion of criminal damage Sunday after police questioned Perkins about the sign that said: "Go Cards" on one side and "Beat Philly" on the other, Chandler police said.

Perkins and Hanlon also are accused of pouring diesel fuel in McNabb's yard to read: "Go Kurt," and "Go Cards," causing an estimated $2,000 in damage, Chandler police Sgt. Joe Favazzo said.

I like how they did it before the actually game.....yeah, this would have been so much more hilarious if the Eagles won. McNabb took the whole thing in stride and apparently the two morons did it as a prank. Prank or not, this is what is most sane people call vandalism. Enjoy your stay in the pokey, and oh yeah, stay classy!

2 Held After Damage to McNabb's Lawn (Philadelphia Inquirer)
The Mesa Tribune East Valley Tribune Has More On These Two Idiots (East Valley Tribune)

Giants Fans Are A Tadbit Upset That The Eagles Beat Them.

Great find by Awful Announcing and The 700 Level. Apparently a few Giants fans are a bit miffed that their team lost angry to the point of insanity that the Eagles whooped their asses (again) in the Meadowlands. I've heard some stories of drunk fans after some games but this one takes the cake. I'll let the videos do the talking. All I'll say is that idiocy knows no limits.




Way to break your leg and make yourself look like a complete idiot in the process. And if you thought that was insane, check this out.



Good times.......gooooood times in New York East Rutherford. You stay classy, Giants fans!

Giants Fans Took The Playoff Loss Well (Awful Announcing)
More Drunk Giants Fans, Now With More Drunk Destruction (The 700 Level)

Update: Game 2 of the Fantasy World Series is below. I started the thread before this one, which I guess explains it, even though I just published it...