My Ten Pre-Vacation Predictions Re-Visited

I'm back! Please, please, hold your applause.

Before I left on vacation I decided to make ten predictions of things I think will happen while I go on vacation. These were not the most well-thought out predictions I have ever made, but I wanted something to look back on once I got back. And looking back, I am glad I did this, as looking back on these predictions will touch on everything I wanted to touch on as I learned the news of what did happen while I was (mostly) deprived of news.

So let's see how well/poorly I did!

1. Steven Stamkos will sign a long-term contract with the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Steven Stamkos is still a restricted free agent. The Flyers and the Maple Leafs may be sorta kinda maybe in the mix to send an offer sheet his way. No points for me on this one.

2. The NFL will agree to a new CBA.

From what little knowledge I gathered while I was away and when I got back, the NFL and NFLPA have been one week away from an agreement for the past week. No new CBA. No points for me.

3. The NBA will not agree to a new CBA.

No new CBA here, either. Point for me this time.

4. Cole Hamels will be named NL All-Star Starter.

Cole Hamels can't pitch in the All-Star Game because he pitched on Sunday. Justin, you are an idiot for not looking ahead and seeing this could happen. Instead, it is Roy Halladay who will be the 6th Phillie to pitch the start of an All-Star Game. No points here.

5. Roy Halladay will receive a standing ovation in Toronto.

They practically worship Halladay like a god of all things awesome in Toronto. Naturally, Rogers Centre gave him a standing ovation. Point here.

6. The Phillies starters will not achieve any historic in-game achievements.

Confession: When I first wrote this, I was only hinting at a no-hitter. But while I was gone, Cliff Lee homered (if you don't click that for the homer, click to hear Jair Jurrjens's call of the homer; it's the stuff of legends) making him the first Phillies pitcher to do so since Chan Ho Park in April 2009. While this prediction mentions only starters, it is worth noting that little known Phillies relief pitcher Juan Perez threw the 46th immaculate inning in baseball history. For comparisons sake, there have been 271 no-hitters thrown, 20 perfect games, and one imperfect game. But again, I specifically said starters. Is a pitcher hitting a home run a historic in-game achievement? Half a point.

7. Paul Holmgren will overpay for someone.

In the truest sense of the word, no, he did not overpay anyone. He got a great deal for Max Talbot which may or may not have circumnavigated the cap and at least as of yet, he has not given Stamkos eighty bajillion dollars. But, Homer does not get off free on this one. He signed Bryzgalov to a long-term deal at a cap hit of $5,666,667. The Washington Capitals signed Tomas Vokoun, a better goaltender, for a $1,500,000 cap hit. That is a difference of $4,166,667. And the goaltender getting $4,166,667 less per year is the better goalie. That underpay by the Caps of Vokoun pointing out how much the Flyers overpaid Bryzgalov, even though it happened before I went away, deserves half a point.

8. JP Dellacamera will tell everyone who will listen that BIMBO Bread is "packed with goodness and baked with love."

The Union played the San Jose Earthquakes on CSN three nights ago. Poor guy gets paid to say that every time. Score one.

9. Simon Gagne will sign with the Philadelphia Flyers.

Well he signed with the Los Angeles Kings Flyers West. That should count for something, right? Hello? Hello? No? Oh well. I said Philadelphia Flyers, not Flyers West. There is a difference, in spite of the fact you can't really tell that at the moment. No points here.

10. 49er16 and kt1000 will do a much better job than myself at consistently posting here.

Absolutely. They are welcome anytime. Point here.

So counting things up, I got a masterful 5/10 predictions right. I fail.

John Gonzalez And John Smallwood Fail At Writing About Soccer

(Originally posted at The Brotherly Game. Please go over there to comment.)

After last night's 1-1 draw, one would think that the columns in today's newspapers would be focused on the positives Philadelphia Union.  They battled an injury to their goalkeeper to manage to get their first point ever against the Los Angeles Galaxy, a team that features the most recognizable face in U.S. Soccer today, Landon Donovan.  However, unfortunately aside from a pair of game stories and a good column from Bob Ford, the mainstream Philadelphia sports media spent the rest of their morning completely trashing soccer with little factual basis.  Here is the first part of the most offensive of the column of the day, from John Gonzalez (a.k.a. Gonzo)

David Beckham didn't make the trip to Philadelphia. Five or six area soccer fans are still upset about that. The rest of you are almost certainly asking yourselves the same question right now: David Beckham was supposed to be in town?

Indeed. The L.A. Galaxy played the Union/Bimbos on Wednesday, but Beckham wasn't at PPL Park. No specific injury was cited as a reason for his absence. It's possible Beckham won't ever play professional soccer in Philly again. He's in the final season of a five-year contract. There's been speculation that he wants one last gig in Europe before he retires and becomes his wife's full-time Ken doll accessory. Those same five or six area soccer fans are probably angry that they missed what was possibly their last chance to see Beckham in person. And everyone else shrugs.

Sadly, he's slipped. His fellow Brits - who have always been fascinated by him and gave rise to his fame with their endless fanboy slobber - don't drool and obsess over Beckham quite as much now. The British tabloids have moved on to Pippa and other current curiosities. He's not even in the top 5 Davids on Google at the moment, trailing such other Davids in Internet search fame as David Yurman, David Foster, David Bowie (he's still alive), David Goetta, and David Letterman. Like Michelangelo's David, Posh Spice's David gets no online love these days.

Beckham's primary talent - ahead of his incredible ability to launch curved crosses into the box with pinpoint precision - was always getting attention. Now that's in question. His fleeting hold on the casual sports fan has long since relaxed, while his grip on the devoted soccer/football/futbol/foot-to-ball fan isn't nearly as tight anymore.

Brian Engblom Had Quite The Unfortunate Slip Of The Tongue

Yes, you heard correct. Brian Engblom called Jiri Hudler, "Hitler" by mistake. And yes, he did this on April 20, Hitler's birthday. I always enjoy hearing new and creative slips of the tongue, and this one certainly fits that billing. Well done, Brian Engblom. Well done.

The Kansas City Star Wishes To Torture Its Readers

We all know that for the sake of saving time, that various media outlets will type ads before something happens in sports just to be ready to advertise the moment it happens.  Heck, kids in Somalia will think Kansas went to the Final Four in 2011.  All that being said, it is still funny when a pre-prepared ads that should not be published get published anyway.  Take for instance the Kansas City Star.  "Kansas is through...and Jayhawks are blue" may be true, but you can still buy your Kansas Final Four tickets!

At least Kansas fans can still enjoy a one-hour massage.

(Hat tip to @JayChristensen on Twitter)

Jim Joyce Feels Better About Himself Tonight

I already said enough on this in the live blog, so I won't re-iterate everything again, but in case you missed it, here is the controversial ending of today's Rutgers-St. John's game.



First of all, there is no doubt the refs erred here, but unfortunately, the Big East was correct in their statement. Once the refs let play continue, it is unreviewable because in order to have a review, you need to have a call, and there was no call. Even though it defies logic (and common sense), what the Big East said was right.

Secondly, and I have made constant fun of this announce team on the live blogs, but they were right on top of things. Pasch recognized it right away, as did Fraschilla and Doris Burke, so kudos to them there.

Unfortunately, Rutgers is not an NCAA Tournament team and this is how their season will end. Their last game of the 2010-2011 season will forever have 1.7 unplayed seconds left on it. The good news, is that their last game of this forgettable season will now be unforgettable.

And lastly, if Jim Burr, Tim Higgins, and Earl Walton referee another game this season, whether it be in the Big East Tourney or the Big Dance, it will be a shame.

The Return Of The Washington Natinals

After the embarrassing failure two years ago by the Washington Nationals two years ago where they left the "o" of Nationals out of their jersey, so that Nationals read "Natinals," you would have thought that the Nationals would have learned their lesson. Well, not quite. You can now buy special Washington Natinals merchandise!

Yikes.  Is it safe to say that MASN will be throwing up "Jason Worth" graphics some time during the course of the season?

Someone Tell The Flyers PR Guy Drinking And Facebook Don't Go Together

This one's going without a comment.

One ESPN Graphic, So Much Fail

This is without a doubt the most embarrassing graphic ESPN has put up since the Brett Favre 500th touchdown party graphic. How someone let this graphic get onto the ESPN broadcast will forever be a mystery.

It is no secret that everyone at ESPN wants some time alone with Brett Favre for a few minutes of happy time, but just because Brett Favre is on the Vikings does not mean the Vikings are in playoff contention. They are mathematically eliminated. And they are not even 5-7. Their record coming into Tuesday Night's game with the Eagles is 5-9.

But yet, my favorite part of this has to be that "Team Name" and "Team Name," both with records of 0-0 are still vying for a playoff spot. With players like "Quarterback," "Hard-Hitting Linebacker," and "Prima Donna Wide Receiver," "Team Name" is a threat to win the Super Bowl this year.

(Hat tip to some random guy on Twitter I found by running a "team name twitpic" Twitter search.)

RIP Dougie

The Dougie is dead. Let us mourn.



Rest in Peace, Dougie. April 12, 2010 - December 5, 2010.

The Most Embarrassing End To A Shootout Ever

Presented without comment.



LOLDEVILS! Enjoy last place, an aging Marty, and that ridiculously long contract, New Jersey.........

Dallas Cowboys Fail Epically

Last play of the 1st half.



Last play of the game.



I am sure the Philadelphia media and/or Bleacher Report articles associated with Philadelphia will talk about Donovan McNabb, whereby I will need to do an FJM takedown about how stupid they are.

Is SB Nation Expanding Into Afghanistan?

Or just having a technical glitch? Okay, so it is probably the latter, but that does not make this screenshot courtesy of SB Nation's Chelsea blogger Graham MacAree on Twitter any less funny.

CSN Miscredits Domonic Brown's Titanic Blast

Once you finish laughing at CSN's graphic fail, click here to watch Domonic Brown's 440 foot double-decker for yourself. WARNING: The video linked in the previous sentence contains footage that might be too awesome for your computer to handle. Watch with extreme caution.

Is Kevin Kolb Going To Be The Exception Of The 2007 NFL Draft?

By most accounts, the Quarterback class of the 2007 NFL Draft was one of the worst in recent memory.  After all, JaMarcus Russell was the #1 pick in that draft.  But there is possibly one exception.  Taken in that very same draft was a quarterback who most thought would be the luckiest guy on earth if he was taken in the 4th round, but was unfathomably chosen in the 2nd round with the #36 overall pick by Andy Reid.  That quarterback, Kevin Kolb, may the lone glimmer in a class of QBs filled with unfathomable failure.  Now I am sure some are thinking that even if the top pick was a bust, surely there was some gem taken late, right?  After all, that is where you find some of the league's best.  Let's take a look, why don't we, at the QBs in the 2007 draft not named Kevin Kolb and see how they fared, where they are now, and if Kevin Kolb really is the last remaining glimmer in a draft class getting more and more infamous by the day.

1. JaMarcus Russell (1st round, Oakland Raiders):  I am pretty sure that from here on out every high profile bust will be looked upon as, "well, at least he was better as JaMarcus."  Either that or they will just call him a JaMarcus.  Russell is currently a free agent, and while I would not rule out a return completely, said return would have to be from a desperate team plagued by injuries at the QB position looking for a body so they can adequately field a team on Sunday. The Hamilton Tiger Cats currently hold his rights. For realz.

22. Brady Quinn (1st Round, Cleveland Browns):  Currently with the Denver Broncos, Brady Quinn is yet to find any consistency as a QB in the NFL.  With Kyle Orton and Tim Tebow as the other alternatives, there is a good chance that Brady Quinn could get some playing time in Denver.  If he does and plays well, his career could be salvagable.  If he does and does not play well or if he does not get any playing time, he could find himself somewhere next to JaMarcus.

36. Kevin Kolb (2nd Round, Philadelphia Eagles):  The lone star of this list?

40. John Beck (2nd Round, Miami Dolphins):  John Beck played some games his rookie year, led the Dolphins to their lone win of the 2007 season, and is now sitting behind Joe Flacco and Troy Smith in Baltimore.  He may have a year or 2 more of being a journeyman bench warmer before being totally forgotten about by all of football.

43. Drew Stanton (2nd Round, Detroit Lions): His 1st career pass was a touchdown! Sadly, that does not equate to his success. When not injured, he has been the back-up/3rd string QB in Detroit. Now being that it is Detroit, that job has yielded a start or 2 for Stanton, but that does not mean he is any good. He's not. At all.

92. Trent Edwards (3rd Round, Buffalo Bills): Projected as the 3rd best QB in the 2007 draft behind Russell and Quinn, Edwards spent the 1st 2 years of his career locked in a constant battle with J.P. Losman for the role of starting QB in Buffalo for the 1st 2 years of career, which proved that Edwards is better than a truly terrible quarterback now in the UFL. Edwards has been constantly injured throughout his short career. When he has played, he has shown some flashes of being a reliable QB, but he is as inconsistent as the day is long. With Ryan Fitzpatrick, Brian Brohm, and Levi Brown as his competition, Trent Edwards (if healthy) would likely somehow still start in Buffalo. Suffice to say, the Buffalo Bills are not considered a playoff contender this year.

103. Isaiah Stanbeck (4th Round, Dallas Cowboys): Drafted as a quarterback by the Cowboys, he has not played the QB position since then. He was recently claimed off waivers by Seattle, who will likely be like Dallas and New England, and use him as a depth WR.

151. Jeff Rowe (5th Round, Cincinnati Bengals): Number of snaps taken as an NFL QB: 0. Number of overall appearances: 0.

174. Troy Smith (5th Round, Baltimore Ravens): The good news: Troy Smith has played an NFL games, even starting some! The bad news: He is currently Joe Flacco's back-up. The good news: Unlike Jeff Rowe, Troy Smith actually has a job!

205. Jordan Palmer (6th Round, Washington Redskins): Carson Palmer's little brother!.....is now his back-up in Cincinnati! Good news for Jordan: the only other QB currently on the Bengals' roster is J.T. O'Sullivan.

217. Tyler Thigpen (7th Round, Minnesota Vikings): The last QB chosen in the 2007 draft can boast with pride he had a better NFL career than the 1st QB chosen in the 2007 draft. Then again, if Jeff Rowe had played 1 play and made some sort of positive contribution in said play, he could boast the same thing.

Steve "Bulging Dick" Levy Accurately Describes The Mets' Stadium

For the 80 bajillionth day in a row, ESPN has been switching back and forth from its regular scheduled programming to the Yankees game every time A-Rod has an at-bat to ensure that all of America gets the opportunity to see a cheater set a milestone that will be marked with an asterisk in a few years. Understandably, the constant back and forth can be a little tiresome on the studio guys, especially when the venue you throw it back to changes every night. Thus, it can lead to mistakes. And when you are Steve Levy (most famous for his "bulging dick" blooper) throwing it back to Citi Field, well, this slip-up can happen.



"A double for Alex Rodriguez, now let's get you back to Shitty Field." - Steve Levy

Completely ignoring the fact that that is an accurate description of the Mets new stadium, that is just too funny. And hey, any time someone on ESPN curses, it is a funny blooper worth replaying over and over again, right?

Soneone At ESPN Was Lacking A Brain Last Night

(Hat tip to Meech on Twitter)

The Omaha Nighthawks Of The UFL Will Be Fielding A One Man Team This Season

I can see it now. Ahman Green. The UFL's foremost quarterback, running back, wide receiver, tight end, offensive guard, offensive tackle, defensive end, defensive tackle, linebacker, cornerback, safety, punter, AND kicker! Can you say Omaha Nighthawk championship?

Have A Safe And Wonderful Fourth Of July Halladay!

Have a safe and wonderful Fourth of July, but most of all, don't be like TBS. Don't do anything stupid.

(Hat tip to The Fightins for the photo)

NHL.com Shows No Sympathy for Sami Salo

(Hat tip to Wyshynski on Twitter)

Coming up later today: JFein conducts an exclusive interview with Sami Salo's Testicle.

Ryan Madson Fought A Chair....And The Chair Sent Madson To The DL

This is something straight out of the page of bizarro world and/or the 2009 New York Mets. Or a combination of the two. After blowing a save in the 10th inning of that crazy game against the Giants, Ryan Madson was a very angry person. He wanted to destroy some shit. His method: kicking a folding chair. But what young Ryan did not realize was that folding chairs do not like getting kicked. When you kick them, they tend to make you instantly regret it. Ryan Madson will now attest to that statement for his misplaced anger at innocent metal folding chairs has resulted in him being placed on the 15-day Disabled List with a broken toe. From CSN Philly.

Angry after blowing a save for the second time this season in Wednesday’s game against the Giants, the reliever exited the dugout, slipped and then drop kicked a chair. Admittedly it’s not the smartest act of Madson’s career.

“I let down my teammates. I let down the fans that want us all to be out there playing hard for them. I feel terrible about that,” Madson said, before gimping around the clubhouse in a calf-high protective boot. “I've done it before. Not kick stuff, but I've gotten upset before and never broken a bone. It's just one of those things. I learned from it. I won't do it again. I realize how much I'm letting my teammates down.”

Still, if one act can describe the way things have gone for Madson this season, it’s the TKO with the metal chair in San Francisco. In nine appearances this season, Madson is 1-0 (the win came in the game for which he kicked the chair) with four saves in six chances. His ERA is a robust 7.00 while opponents have batted .333 against him.

If there is a silver lining in this it’s that the timing was not awful. Madson was placed on the disabled list just as the team’s usual closer Brad Lidge was activated. Instead, the Phillies will have to make some adjustments for the seventh and eighth innings without Madson in his regular role.

“It’s one of those things that happened,” Manuel said. “He told me how he did it and he’s very embarrassed by it. He was very apologetic.”

Oy ve. I can't.......I can't even......oy ve.....thank goodness for the Flyers tomorrow.

You want something that I did not think I would be doing now back in March? Saying oy ve about the Phillies and eagerly anticipating the Flyers. Shouldn't the 2 be reversed?