An Exclusive Interview With Sami Salo's Testicle

There are certain privileges to having a blog and a Twitter account with over 100 followers, and one of those is the opportunity to interview people I want when I want to interview with them. When I heard about what happened to Sami Solo, er, Sami Salo, I immediately picked up the phone and made some phone calls trying to score my first interview ever. Turns out it was successful and the following is a real live interview* between myself and Sami Salo's Testicle at a time, when everyone thought it was ruptured.

JFein: I am fairly confident that @salostesticle is the best new Twitter account ever. You have to have balls to make the jokes he is making.

Sami Salo's Testicle: Ah, but I'm managing it with only ONE ball!

JF: In that case, I really admire your ball. If only your partner was still with us.

SST: I miss my brother :(

JF: I cry thinking about what you went through tonight. My thoughts are with you and your brother on this sad night.

I greatly thank Sami Salo's Testicle for taking the time to sit down with me during his time of crisis. Of course, as we all know now, the testicle is not actually ruptured and Sami and @salostesticle are going to be all right. It may have been a stressful night last night, but all is fine in the world of Salo. Of course, any future offspring may have still taken a painful blow as a puck to the nuts is never a good thing, but at least it is not what it could have been. And for that we are all thankful. His balls have taken a puck to the groin and have lived to tell the tale together. My admiration for them has never been greater.

* - Just a few Twitter thingeys.

NHL.com Shows No Sympathy for Sami Salo

(Hat tip to Wyshynski on Twitter)

Coming up later today: JFein conducts an exclusive interview with Sami Salo's Testicle.

Men Everywhere Weep For Sami Salo

Remember back in 2008 when Patrick Thoreson blocked a shot with his balls in the playoffs? Good news for him! He is no longer the only one to have ever done so! Watch here as a puck (purportedly) ruptures Sami Salo's testicle right before your very eyes!



The good news for Salo is that Thoreson's testicle was initially feared as ruptured only to have to been not ruptured after all and still in tact with the rest of Patrick to this day. The bad news is for Sami Salo, it is looking like he will not be that lucky. However, for getting in front of that hard slapshot, I've gotta admit, I really admire his balls.

For all the latest updates on the life of Sami Salo's nether regions, you can now follow @salostesticle on Twitter! Or what's left of them anyway.

Update: Per Vancouver Provence writer Jason Botchford, the testicle is NOT ruptured. The human being in me is glad to see that Salo's ball is all right and will thus likely not need to be removed. The cold-blooded comedian in me wishes this were not true. Ruptured testicle jokes are just way too fun. Oh well, he still took a puck to the balls. I can still make jokes about that, right? Even if the testicle is not ruptured?

DeMarcus Cousins Got All Ball On This Foul

I direct your attention to this hilarious moment from Saturday's Elite 8 game featuring West Virginia and Kentucky.



How on earth is that a foul? DeMarcus Cousins got all ball!

My favorite part was the facial reactions of Da'Sean Butler a). when he first got hit and b). as he tried to walk it off. You can tell he was a man hurting and a man worrying about future kids.

Some Bad Announcing That Can Brighten Anyone's Day (And Some Extreme Nut Shots)

With the sparcity of sports news this time of year and now that the Confederations Cup is over, it's been a real pain trying to find things of substance for me to post (see yesterday's posts). It's not me and it's not laziness (well, the fact that I missed 2 things sort of is, but that's not the point), it's the fact that there is not much to post. Regardless, I'll be out today until tonight when I will be at The O Files chatting with James Craven about I Survived A Japanese Game Show. Thus naturally, 5 different huge sports headlines will break today including Brett Favre's decision about whether he will play this year and David Wright will test postitive for steroids and be suspended. But instead of leaving you on that depressing luck on how all of the major news comes out on days when I am not around, I will leave you with a compilation of videos of awful announcing (and one nut shots compilation)! Enjoy!

Clueless baseball announcer



Clueless hockey announcer



A WHAT?!?!?



PAMMY!!!!



More Pammy!!!!

Pam ward
by bsap11

TOUCHDOWN USC!!!! Oh, wait....



Mike Patrick would like to torture Orel Hershiser



What is Britney doing with her life?



Don't forget, that was the OT game-winning touchdown!!! Too funny.

And lastly, as promised, NUT SHOTS!!!!



Too painful!

I'll talk to y'all later tonight if you decide to stop by (assuming JC's computer is working as well, that thing is more inconsistent than Brett Favre's retirement plans).