Golf Channel Reporter Reports What Several Women Already Know

As I am sure you all noticed, I have avoided touching the Tiger Woods story with a ten foot pole. For starters, I am not a golf fan and I find it incredibly boring and secondly, not only am I not a golf fan, but I do not care that Tiger Woods has a thing for women. Therefore, other than an occasional cheap joke during chats, the Tiger Woods story has not been a story for me to talk about. That being said, I absolutely cannot ignore this report on Tiger's injury that kept him out of The Player's Championship. Listen closely as this reporter tells the world what several women Elin Nordegren is insanely jealous of already know.



Steve Levy sympathizes.

Although, for all we know, Tiger Woods could not only have that bulging disk in his back, but he could also have a bulging dick. Just talk to any girl you see the next time you go for a walk in the park. She'll tell you the truth about what parts of Tiger are or are not bulging.

The Mystery Of The Man Who Farted At The Buick Open

It's the story that just won't blow away. Who really farted at that Buick Open? Was it Tiger Woods? Was it David Feherty? Or was it a practical joke? We may never know the answer. There has been rampant speculation on this grave and serious matter of who would be such a disgrace as to pass wind at a golf event. While no one is brave enough to step up and admit that their chesse cutting was picked up by a microphone, it is always fun to guess at who may have done such a cowardly thing. Courtesy of MSNBC and Countdown with Keith Olbermann, here now is the moment in question.

I would like to thank Keith and his incredible journalistic integrity for permanently embedding the unedited moment of the broadcast from CBS on the Countdown website at MSNBC.com as the PGA have decided that this could be a permanent stain on their legacy and are desparately determined to take down any and all evidence of this embarrassing moment. Keith, the only man that is able to defy the PGA and embed the video without getting in trouble. It takes a brave, brave man to take on the PGA like that. Keith, always known as a guy that will stop at nothing in search of the truth in this puzzling mystery, has only the visual exhibit of what happened. Regardless, my thanks to him.

This case might be single handedly cracked with one piece of evidence, never before seen, that I am about to show you. It is this piece of evidence that will prove to you, once and for all, that it was Tiger Woods, not David Feherty or a jokester, that farted at the Buick Open. I present to you, this clip from 2006.



Let it be known once and for all, that Tiger Woods has a history of passing gas. As has just been shown, he has farted before in his lifetime, something that folks like David Feherty and any and all practical jokesters have not done before. Therefore, this case is solved. Tiger Woods is your guilty man and he will soon be taken into custody for this egregious crime.

Hidden Turnbury, Cut Down Tiger, And There's Been a Tom Watson Sighting!

(Guest posted by James Craven of The O Files)

The British Open has lost a lot of star power for golf. First, Phil Mickelson withdrew to be with his wife as she battles breast cancer, and now, Eldrick Woods has missed the cut at Turnbury.

No, that second comment is not a misplaced error. Tiger Woods has missed the cut at a major for the first time since the 2006 U.S. Open, and the second major of golf's grand slam (The Masters, U.S. Open, British Open or more commonly called, "The Open Championship", and the PGA Championship) that Tiger missed, and the fifth overall since becoming pro in 1996.

Even bigger news, there's been a Tom Watson sighting! (He's 206! No, he's 59) He's tied for the lead with virtual unknown Steve Marino heading into the weekend. If I was over at ESPN, my stomach would turn because this will be the last time there will be over-the-air coverage on ABC Sports. (I'm sorry, but I don't buy the "ESPN on ABC" BS branding, thank you very much.) Starting next year, it's cable exclusive at TWWLS, knowing that there's no Tiger, the ratings will sink faster than a rock in water. In the Atlantic Ocean, and 24,000 feet deep. And so, I won't watch.