Today In Funny Videos: Antonio Cromartie Remembers His Children And Andy Burton Likes Young Boys

Too unintentionally funny videos for the price of 1!

First up, it's Antonio Cromartie on last night's episode of Hard Knocks. By all accounts, Cromartie is a playa. He has 8 children, all of whom are 5 or younger and 4 of whom are currently 3-years old. Yeah. Like I said, Cromartie is a playa. But that's not the funny part. The comedy comes into play when Cromartie tries to remember the names and ages of all his kids on camera.



I guess when you have that many kids by as many women as he probably has them by and you have several cases against you, I guess kids names and ages can be a difficult thing to remember? I don't know.

Fact: There is a Swiss soccer team named BSC Young Boys. And while you can probably twist into a perverted quote just about anything a broadcaster mentions about "Young Boys," this quote by Sky Sports Reporter Andy Burton needs no twisting or taking out of context to be unintentionally gross and perverted.



Most sexual predators would probably argue that Young Boys are actually quite easy to beat.

(Hat tip to Keith's Sports Journal and Stupid Sideline Reporters)

The Wideout Next Door Is (Maybe) Back

This is (mostly) a blog about Philly sports. I am not a Philly sports fan. But, in honor of JFein, who should be well on his way to a 0 for week with the English and Irish lasses; here’s a short update on Eagles training camp, courtesy of Bleeding Green Nation.

http://www.bleedinggreennation.com/2010/8/9/1613883/eagles-release-first-depth-chart

In short I know nothing about any of these guys, except for Hank Baskett. Not only did he probably cost the Colts last year’s Super Bowl, but also famously married one of The Girls Next Door.

For JFein’s sake, let’s hope Baskett makes the team, so he can continue to post pictures of Kendra.

Follow me @kt1000 on Twitter

2 Little Girls Do What Dez Bryant Can't Do And Stewart Bradley Cares About The Important Things In Life

The top picture is a picture of 2 young girls doing to Eagles long-snapper Jon Dorenbos what Cowboys rookie WR refused to do to Cowboys veteran WR Roy Williams and that is carry his pads.  2 young girls > Dez Bryant. (Hat tip to Bleeding Green Nation)

The bottom picture is LB Stewart Bradley tweeting about today's important headline; Lindsay Lohan's release from prison.  In defense of Bradley, he has a minor hamstring injury and tweeted this between practices; but outside of that, I don't know what to say about the Eagles' stud middle linebacker tweeting about Lindsay Lohan.  I really don't.  I'd expect a tweet like that from Leonard Weaver, who tweets just about every mundane detail in his life (I love knowing when Church Van gets a hair cut from Brent the Barber!).  Not from  Stewart Bradley. (Link:  Stewart Bradley's Twitter account)

Clay Matthews Obviously Skipped Geography 101 At USC

This has to at least tie a FARN! record for number of posts in a day. I thought I was done for the day but then my brother called about something he saw on Around The Horn (why he watches it and how he likes it I will forever not know) that I needed to listen to. Sure enough, I heard about one of the most unbelieveable admissions by a football player (Clay Matthews, 1st round draft pick of the Packers) , and sure enough, I googled the YouTube video and here it is. Often times, I set up these things by telling you what they are or what not, but this one is better off without a set up. Due to the fact that ESPN has disabled embedding on their videos and this is the only place that I could find it, click on the link below to view the video, as if I told you otherwise about this, you probably would not believe me.

Link to hilarious video (the priceless moment begins at the 41 second mark)

Mort: "Clay, what's it like to go from Southern California to Green Bay, Wisconsin? I was a Southern California boy, this is different."
Clay Matthews: "Oh, it definitley is. And to hear that I was drafted by Green Bay, I immediately had to go online and check out where it was. I didn't know it was in Wisconsin."

Ladies and gentlemen, the first round draft pick of the Green Bay Packers! I mean seriously, the kid is obviously bright as evidenced by the fact that he went to USC and he played college football? Are you really telling me that this kid did not know where Green Bay was, even though surely he had to have seen numerous Packer football games before? Like I once had under Fire Andy Reid Now! on my blog title, idiocy has no limits.

Eli Manning Vs. Timex

If there is one true fact of life, it is this: Eli Manning is unstoppable.......with his Citizen Eco Drive watch, of course. So what will happen now that the New York Giants have taken to putting ads for Timex on their practice jersies? We've got corporate conflict and Eli Manning has just the way of dealing with it! Via The New York Daily News

From the "No Coke, Pepsi!" files of brand-name clashes, the Giants have created an awkward conflict for their star quarterback by selling ad space on their practice jersey to a competitor of a company Manning already endorses for big bucks.

Big Blue this week took the training-camp field at the University at Albany in jerseys bearing a patch advertising the Timex watch company, taking advantage of a league-wide rule change that allows NFL teams to slaps ads on non-game uniforms. Problem for Manning is, he holds a six-figure deal to hawk Citizen watches, a Timex rival for which he has appeared in television, print and billboard ads.

So what's an oversold idol to do? It appears Manning can't escape wearing the Timex patch - a 3 1/2-by-4 1/2-inch logo on the left shoulder - so his plan appears to be to conduct all pre-practice interviews prior to suiting up and to shed the jersey as soon as the workout is through. All so the most watched, filmed and photographed player on the Giants can avoid any undue exposure sporting wrong watch logo.

The Giants and Timex signed a $15-year deal in June worth an estimated $35 million that names the team's Meadowlands practice facility the "Timex Performance Center" - a mini-naming-rights deal (along with other collaborations) as the Giants and Jets continue to search for a company willing to pony up around $25 million per year to name the new Meadowlands stadium.

Ah, good times in America's butt stain The Meadowlands! In all seriousness, though, I don't blame Eli Manning and I actually think he came up with a darn good solution. If you're going to be forced to wear a patch of one of your sponsor's competitors, you might as well limit that exposure as much as possible and that is what Eli Manning is doing. Aspeaking of Eli, he is now the highest paid quarterback in the NFL (yes, more than Tom Brady, brother Peyton, Tony Homo Romo, Ben Roethlisberger, among others).

Andy Reid Is Not A Fan Of Your Reporting Stories Without Getting The News From Him

My sincerest apologies in being so late on this story, but aside from being in 25 places at once, quite many times I found myself quoting Glenn Beck in the past few days. God, I'm such a paranoid douchebag.

Enough about me, though, and on to this hilarious story. With the news of Stewart Bradley being out for the season (a huge loss, if you ask me), a very interesting story came with the reporting of it. Little known fact of reporting: all reporters must confirm all reports with the coach before that story is reported. Well, at least that's how Andy Reid sees things. From a very pissed off Ray Didinger of CSN Philly that sums up both the story and his feelings.

The Eagles coach was livid because several reporters actually did some reporting without his permission. They tried to find out what happened to middle linebacker Stewart Bradley in Sunday’s Flight Night practice at Lincoln Financial Field. That, Reid said, is a violation of the rules.

Gee, I thought it was just a couple of reporters doing their job. I’m so out of touch.

According to Reid, a pact was breached. Funny, but I don’t recall signing a pact with the Eagles. I guess I’d better look into this before I violate some rule and the coach has me pushing a blocking sled down the field like poor George Hegemin. I mean, that has to be next, doesn’t it?

Football coaches are all about control, I understand that. And the Eagles are all about controlling the message. I get that, too. But Reid’s handling of the Bradley injury was outrageous. It was more than arrogant, it was unprofessional.

By now you know the details. Bradley, the Eagles starting middle linebacker, left the field early in Sunday’s practice and headed to the locker room. It was reported he would undergo an MRI on Monday. That’s what is called a “big story.”

Several reporters placed calls to Bradley’s cell phone to learn what was going on. By the time the Eagles went on the practice field at Lehigh, the news had leaked out that Bradley suffered a torn ACL and was likely lost for the season. That’s what is called a really big story.

The media gathered in the interview tent after practice, waiting for Reid to address the situation. The coach who typically begins every press conference by saying, “Injuries…” this time said, “We won’t talk about injuries today…”

Huh? Why?

“Some of your colleagues here decided that they would go to the players and/or other personnel here and ask about injuries,” Reid said, beginning his lecture. “I made a pact with you guys when I first got here that I would disclose to you the injuries, that you just stay away from the players, stay away from the other personnel in the organization and I would take care of you with that.

“That part was breached, so we’ll get on with the Flight Night part of things…”

With that, Reid began talking about what a great night it was, yada, yada, while the reporters looked at each other in disbelief. Did the coach really intend to not address Bradley’s injury? Would he clarify Bradley’s status at all?

“He did not practice today,” Reid said.

Thanks, Coach, but we already knew that. We did watch practice and there was no No. 55. Could you tell us a little more? Like, what did the MRI show? Are the reports about the ACL tear accurate?

Reid would not elaborate. He was going to teach us all a lesson. He gave us a good rap across the knuckles.

Asked when he might disclose more information regarding injuries, he said: “When I decide that people can abide by the rules.”

Andy’s rules are these: He is the only person in the organization who is allowed to talk about injuries. On the rare occasion, they will bring the trainer Rick Burkholder into the auditorium at Nova Care to address, say, a Brian Westbrook surgery, but most of the time all that information comes from Reid. The doctors aren’t allowed to talk, even the injured player is ordered not to talk.

So when a few reporters tried to reach Bradley directly, Reid considered it a breach. No, Andy – they were doing their jobs. When the starting middle linebacker is hurt, reporters have a responsibility to find out what’s going on. They have a pact with their employers and their readers, not you.

Reid must think he’s proving a point, but it is hard to see just what it is. He won’t talk about a major injury and he won’t let anyone else talk about it. If there’s not a league rule against that kind of stonewalling, there certainly should be.

I've heard of and am well familiar with "Coach-speak" but for goodness sake, this is ridiculous. I definitley agree with Didinger in this piece. In this day and age with Twitter and Blackberries and what not where people break and receive news faster than ever before, we want the current information now and unlike in old times, the coach is not the only one to supply us with the information. I don't understand what the problem is with contacting Stewart Bradley about the injury. I mean, after all, he is the injured one, him (along with possibly Eagles trainer Rick Burkholder) would be the ones who know the most about the injury in the first place. And I have not even gotten into the arrogant way in which Reid declared that he would not talk about the injury.

Alas, this is just reason #598 why Andy Reid is not a competent coach in the NFL.

The Eagles Have Finally Signed Jeremy Maclin

Well it's about time! As you may or may not have noted, my Eagles preview was typed late last night so I was unable to give you the news that Jeremy Maclin has reached a deal with the Eagles. It is a 5-year contract. CSN Philly has the details.

Late Monday night the Eagles and first-round pick Jeremy Maclin agreed to a five-year deal reportedly worth $15.5 million, $9.5 million of which is guaranteed.

That deal is worth slightly more than the one received by the 20th overall pick, tight end Brandon Pettigrew, who according to NFL.com signed a five-year, $14.6 million deal that included $9.4 million guaranteed.

Maclin is the 23rd first-round pick to agree to terms. However, the negotiation process cost him the first 13 practices of training camp, valuable time considering how complicated the offense is for rookies to master.

The wide receiver out of Missouri will be trying to earn playing time in a deep group of receivers led by second-year pro DeSean Jackson along with veterans Kevin Curtis and Jason Avant.

The Eagles also hope Maclin can preserve Jackson by handling the punt return duties.

Didn't we initially get DeSean Jackson for punt returning duties? Amazing the difference that one year makes.

I said this before, but I'll say it again. Jeremy Maclin is a good kid and I am proud to have him with the Eagles, now that he is actually signed with the Eagles. And despite missing practices, Maclin is confident that he can make the time up. Once again via CSN Philly

“I pick up things very easily,” Maclin said. “I think I’m smart and I can do things like that. I’m going to take what I learned in minicamp and hopefully translate it out here.”

In addition to the minicamps, Maclin also participated in Donovan McNabb’s annual camp in Arizona.

“I think not only was it connecting on a football level but also on a more personal level,” Maclin said. “It’s kind of off the radar. You’re kind of out there doing your thing, having fun, joking around, talking to each other but at the same time getting work in.”

Suffice to say, I look forward to Jeremy Maclin being in an Eagles uniform! Actually, I just can't wait to see Eagles uniforms. Period.