Take This Short Quiz And Find Out How Your Favorite NFL Team Will End The Season!

6 weeks have passed in the NFL season, and it seems like there would not be any more parity. Every team in the NFC has at least 2 losses and no team in the AFC has emerged as a Super Bowl favorite juggernaut either.

But why carry on with nervous tensions throughout the next 3.5 months when you can find out how your team will finish the rest of the season. This short quiz, you can find out first your hand if your team has what it takes to go all the way and win the Super Bowl. So grab a pencil, and take this short 10 question quiz. Let 5 minutes save you from 3.5 months of agony!

1. What do ESPN analysts say immediately after discussing your team's Super Bowl chances?
a). "But really, this is all stating the obvious."
b). "If they can avoid injuries, they will be right in the thick of things in January."
c). And if you actually believe the Lions are Super Bowl contenders, you are a delusional moron who is better off living on Mars."
d). "Mars is such a pretty planet to live on."

2. Which of the following will your coach say at the team's end of season press conference?
a). "I've never been more proud of a group of players in my life
b). "We faced numerous obstacles, so just getting to the point we got to is a real accomplishment."
c). "Working with the Cleveland Browns has been a.....different experience."
d). "Ask that question to someone who will be employed here next season."

3. What was hanging from the locker room ceiling after last Sunday's game?
a). A championship banner from last year
b). Inspirational quotes
c). Streamers, balloons, and a sign saying, "CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING A TACKLE!"
d). The starting quarterback.

4. What do fans want to see in the future in terms of your team's starting QB?
a). Continuation of a superstar's career, like Drew Brees.
b). Commencement of a hyped prospect's career, like Kevin Kolb.
c). A future 1st round draft pick.
d). David Carr

5. Now that we are 5-6 games into the season, what comparisons are people now drawing about your team's most prized draft pick from the 2010 Draft?
a). Brett Favre without the interceptions
b). DeSean Jackson with more size
c). Mike Bell without the power
d). Brian Russell without the grit

6. What is your head coach's biggest inspiration?
a). Sean Payton's success at a young age
b). Bill Belichick's creativeness
c). Andy Reid's play-calling
d). Anything involving Norv Turner

7. How often do referees penalize your team?
a). Almost never. Your team is a well disciplined machine that takes very few penalties.
b). Occasionally. Your team is young and still learning the ropes of the NFL.
c). Frequently. Your team has problems with complex concepts such as "twelve", "holding", and the location of the line of scrimmage.
d). Never. Your team sucks so much that the league has deemed penalizing the them only creates an unfair disadvantage.

8. What did your owner spend the most money on last off-season?
a). Free agency's biggest prize
b). Filling the team's holes by signing cheaper yet effective alternatives
c). A useless veteran that everyone has forgotten except Dan Snyder.
d). Plastic surgery

9. What is your team's best wide receiver's biggest concern?
a). Performing even better than last week's career performance
b). Having a successful return from injury
c). A reality TV show on Versus
d). Jake Delhomme is on his team

10. Your quarterback's girl is most comparable to whom?
a). A hot celebrity, like Gisele Bundchen
b). A non-famous pretty, plain and innocent girl, like Abby Manning
c). That slut who works at the convenience store
d). Brenda Warner

Now tally up your answers to find out what your team can be looking forward to in the next 3.5 months!
Mostly A's: A parade!
Mostly B's: An up and down season culminating in an inspiring playoff appearance with a heart-breaking playoff loss
Mostly C's: A top 5 pick in the 2011 Draft.
Mostly D's: A top 5 pick in the 2012 Draft.

(Inspired by Down Goes Brown)

Google Gets Into Advertising For The Stanley Cup Playoffs

Later today, the Stanley Cup Playoffs will begin. During the last major American championship, you might remember that Google ran a commercial. That commercial, of course, depicted a story about Paris and all that mushy romance shit. Well, now they are really stepping up their game. Google has just released a new series of similar ads, only instead of a French romance, they advertise the Conference Quarterfinals of the 2010 Stanley Cup Playoffs. They have put them up on YouTube for everyone to preview and watch already before they debut tonight during the first day of the playoffs.* Sit back, relax, and enjoy the 8 best hockey ads you will ever see!

#8 Montreal Canadiens vs. #1 Washington Capitals



#7 Philadelphia Flyers vs. #2 New Jersey Devils



#6 Boston Bruins vs. #6 Buffalo Sabres



#5 Ottawa Senators vs. #4 Pittsburgh Penguins



#8 Colorado Avalanche vs. #1 San Jose Sharks



#7 Nashville Predators vs. #2 Chicago Blackhawks



#6 Los Angeles Kings vs. #3 Vancouver Olympics



#5 Detroit Red Wings vs. #4 Phoenix Coyotes



*Please. Note. Sarcasm. I made these myself by simply going to youtube.com/searchstories for shits and giggles and posted them here to entertain you. These are not real commercials. They will not air in front of a national audience tonight on Versus. Though if they would it would be totes awesome. Especially that one about the Sharks choking. Making fun of a team like that in a national TV ad is what is missing from this great society of ours.

Awesome Wikipedia Vandalisms: Nate Kaeding Edition

I will not bore you by re-posting the video of Brett Favre singing Pants On The Ground after the decimation of the Cowboys, but I will entertain you by quoting the epic Nate Kaeding wikipedia vandalisms! Yes, after JC shut the blog down, the Wiki vandals came and they were epic. Check them out.

"Nate Kaeding has been labled the biggest Pedophile, choke artist, catamite, penis licking pussy in the history of football."

"Nate Kaeding is a total fucking faggot bitch and I hope he dies in his sleep tonight."

Given what happened to Gaines Adams this morning (RIP - you left this world too soon), that one is a bit mean, but still, nothing captures the feelings of the losers better than Wikipedia vandalisms

There's more.

"Kaeding has also been known to wear womens lingerie before important games to help him focus on missing critical chip shots. Nate Kaeding is also Norv Turners lifemate."

"Nate Kaeding doesn't have a personal life...he's just a pedophile"

Ouch.

"Fans have given him the nicknames of "Big cock choking Nate" and "Mr. choke", because he rarely missed a field goal during his college career"

I see someone did not edit the entire sentence, just his nicknames.

"Kaeding is horrible and I can't believe he gets paid. I guess you shouldn't have had that popcorn."

"Samantha Keading filed for divorce on January 17, 2010 on grounds that he is a LOOOOOSER"

That ain't right.

"Hey Nate, how does my JEST ass taste?"

Drunk Jets fan FTW!

"His 0 field goal percentage makes him the least accurate kicker in NFL history with at least 100 attempts. He currently sucks penis in the back of the van."

"Nathaniel James "Loser" Kaeding"

"But he seems really nice!"

So heartwarming.

"Kaeding went up against Cincinnati Bengals kicker, Shayne Graham, in a contest to see who can miss the most field goals in increasingly shorter distances. After they both missed even pushing the ball through the goalpost whilst standing on an elevated platform right in front of the very center of the post, the universe subsequently imploded."

"After seeing that their fathers life was crumbling like buildings in Haiti, they filed for emancipation."

I never said this would be a classy post. Yes, that one crossed the line.

"He sucked off his first guy at Iowa. And subsiquently became the gigantic faggot he is today."

Charjerz fannz kan spel!

"Currently Dog the Bounty Hunter and company have a bounty on his head by every Chargers fan in San Diego."

You can't make this stuff up!

"He likes butt"

Blunt and to the point. I like it.

"He has consistently been the least clutch kicker in the playoffs and is hated by nearly all Charger fans. We hate you Nate, you've screwed us again"

I think that one sums it all up.

Revision History of Nate Kaeding (Wikipedia - See any of the thousands of edits dated January 18 - Wiki uses Greenwich mean time....don't ask)

Countdown with JFein

I've teased this on Twitter and I teased this earlier today, and now, you will finally see it. This may be one of the greatest things that I have ever done in my sports blogging career, even though it does not have much to do with sports. It's my first podcast ever and I will use it to parody Keith Olbermann and Countdown! You guys don't know how long I've wanted to do this for.

Regardless, whether you are an Olbermann fan or not a fan, I am hopeful that you will find this funny. It is a parody that's not meant to be taken too seriously nor is it in any way shape or form, a representation of my personal political views. The fact that I bring up an issue in someway in this satirical piece of Keith Olbermann, does in no way representat my actual stance on the issue, whether I be for what I am saying or against what I am saying.

Countdown with JFein

Justin Feinberg's Podcast

I rehearsed this a bunch and pretty much know it inside and out, but everytime I play back the Musto part, I can't help but crack up. Not that all the inside jokes and jabs and sarcastic ironies are not funny, but Musto gets me everytime. And yes, that whole 11 minutes and 30 seconds was my voice and only my voice.

And I don't know about you, but personally I think my Keith Olbermann doing Tad Baxter as Bill O'Reilly was spot on if you ask me.

Poking Fun At The New York Mets Is Fun

I got nothing better to do right now, so why not put up a post where I further mock a team that has somehow, someway jumped ahead of the Nationals in the category of Baseball's Biggest Laughing Stock.

The fact that the Mets are 16.5 games behind the Phillies and only 13 games ahead of the Nationals flat out hysterical.

This was obviously written by a Mets fan before this season started......(via The Fightins
Can't disagree with that definition, now can we? I know I can't disagree with that logic.

But let's turn the tables and find out what the Mets are really like. Here is your definition of the New York Mets from Urban Dictionary

1. A baseball team with annoying hot dogs like Jose Reyes that takes over 1st place late in the season and then gives it up to the Phillies in the last week of the season

2. A team that managed to lose a game it had won when their idiot second baseman Luis Castillo dropped a pop up with two outs against the Yankees.

Not as funny as the Phillies definition. But alas, those statements are quite true. Change that second definition to "A team that is managed to lose games in every way possible" and you've got the New York Mets in a nutshell. No need to get all douchey and homophobic like the Phils definition, just straight facts is all that needed when describing this team. The fact that Manual has been promised to keep his job really should not come as a surprise at all. After all, they are managed to lose.

The Mets went head to head with the Phillies this past weekend, let's take a look at the highlights of that series, which include the new Phillies catchphrase and flat out bearded awesomeness.




If the Mets were any unluckier, they would surpass The Bad News Bears. Oh wait, too late, according to ESPN.com
Okay, so it's just some lame photo shopping job (hell, I just did it using screenshots and the default Microsoft picture editor) by yours truly, but you gotta admit, that's hilarious.

The funniest part about this video is that the maker of it truly believes that these are reasons to like the Mets. Most of America would use this same logic and stats and conclude the opposite....



Oh, about those uniforms and colors, Mets fans.......


I'm now nauseous.

In the end, however, only one word can truly describe the New York Mets....

The rest of America could not agree more.

(big time thanks go out for The Fightins who indirectly and perhaps unknowningly supplied a lot of the photos and videos used in this post)