2009 NFL Preview: Dallas Cowboys

By JFein:

Seeing as 49er16 is out for the day, I will resume the NFL Previews by finishing up the NFC East and taking a look at the much-hated Dallas Cowboys. Sadly, for 49er16, giving me the Dallas Cowboys may have been a grave mistake.

I think it is quite safe to say that any person alive that likes the Cowboys is an alien from outer space, and not a human being. How anyone sanely root for an at-best mediocre quarterback (both in terms of looks and football skills) who has probably gone out with over 500 plastic dolls, er, I mean female celebrities, is utterly beyond me. I am not a totally mean-spirirted person, though. Actually, for one fact and one fact alone, I actually feel bad for Tony Romo. And that simple fact is that he once dated Jessica Simpson. Now why would I feel bad for him for that? Well, as we all know, Ashlee Simpson is Jessica's less prettier, less talented (who knew that was possible?) sister. And frankly, anyone who has ever meet Ashlee Simpson is worthy of my pity.

Enough about Antonio Ramiro Romo though and now on to the Dallas Cowgirlsboys in general.

Ny Romo: HA! See what I did there? It's Tony Romo without the T.O. Let's face facts: T.O. made Tony Romo. I may hate the man's guts for what he did to the Eagles, but Terrell Owens is a great receiver and was the sole reason that Romo was any good. Not only was T.O. physical enough to break through the defenses, but he also drew double coverages and such. So when he was not breaking free of double coverage, Romo was finding tight end Jason Witten or another wide receiver wide open. Face it, a defense has only 11 people and they all can't be in the same spot at once (you can't find this kind of analysis just anywhere, you know!). That in turn made Tony Romo look much better than he really is and I think that was shown in games that T.O. did not play during his Dallas tenure.

Aspeaking of Cowboys Wide Receivers: No, I have not forgotten about Roy Williams. That being said, after having such a long tenure in Detroit, the fact that he even has a will to live is truly incredible. The question is will he be as good and as effective as T.O. was with the Cowboys? The sad part is that I think that there might actually be a chance. But the thing though is that I have a sinking feeling that the Cowboys are hardly even going to be competitive this year. As I alluded to above, Tony Romo is one of the most overrated quarterbacks in the NFL, and I think he proved that every time he was forced to step up in a clutch game. Face it, when it comes to the big games, Romo turns into the girls that he likes to date. And when that happens to your QB, I don't care who the wide receiver is, it's not going to change the inevitable outcome of the game.

Cowboys Defense: Not that the Cowboy defense was ever a menace to begin with, but they may be extra vulnerable this year. They lost so many players including safety Roy Williams, Zach Thomas, and Greg Ellis, and that's just scratching the surface. And they got no real huge names to replace them either. And what significant names they did get (Brooking, Olshansky) may very well be well past their prime. They better hope the few rookies they have come through for them or otherwise it will be a long year for Dallas.

Jerry-Land: Well, whoop-de-doo! Apparently it's going by the name of Cowboys Stadium now, but regardless, the Dallas Cowboys have a new in Arlington that can sit over 100,000. The media is making out this to be like America's bicentennial or something, when, it's just the opening of an oversized stadium fit for a man such as Jerry Jones, who, as everyone on the face of this earth knows, has an oversized ego. Hell, even some donkeys know that. And that's just not because Jerry is one. Just ask the Eagles when Lincoln Financial opened: a new stadium does NOT guarantee immediate success (am I really the only one that remembers The Linc as "The Stink"?)

Cowboys Playoff Woes: In the past 3 years, the Dallas Cowboys have either made the playoffs (or in 1 particular case) had a de facto playoff game Week 17 where the winner would be guaranteed a spot in the playoffs and the loser would be guaranteed an early trip to the couch. For those that can't vividly remember these occurances, let's take a look at their failures the last 3 years!

Wildcard @ Seattle (1/6/07 - my nomination for football moment of the decade)



Divisional Playoffs vs. New York Giants (1/13/08 - the (relatively) forgotten choke job)



Week 17 de facto Playoff game @ Philadelphia (12/28/08 - Massacre Of The Cowboys - strong Roman Catholics might get that reference)



Prediction: 6-10, 4th place in NFC East. My little faith in the Dallas Cowboys is not all based on my Eagles fandom, it's just that I honestly don't think that this team can put it together this year. They lost some key players, added little, and drafted none. And while the NFC East as a whole is expected to have a down year, it seems to me that the Cowboys fared the worst this off-season, combine that with an incompetent owner in Jerry Jones and a repeated failure of a coach in Wade Phillips, and this team just is not going anywhere this year.

Join us next week as we preview all teams in the AFC East and the Minnesota Vikings.