Happy Thanksgiving All!

I guess I would be remiss if I did not put up a happy Thanksgiving post of some sort. I hope everyone has a wonderful time with their families and gobble down on turkey or whatever your family tradition is on Thanksgiving. Thanks to my page-a-day calendar, here are certain tips that you should follow for an optimal Thanksgiving.

• "Consider attaching the fork to your wrist, like a child with mittens. There is a lot of food, and it's always good to have a utensil handy. If traveling through a metal detector, make sure it's a plastic fork."

• "When a fight over old issues erupts, pull out the video camera and record it. When family members ask what you're doing, say that you want to record it so that next year instead of having the fight, you can all just watch it."

• "If you're setting up holiday decorations, make sure you don't accidentally stick your tongue in a lightbulb socket."

• "Ettiquette experts say it's not cool to bring your laptop to the dinner table, even if you want to share Thanksgiving with your Facebook and My Space friends." (Editor's note: And in our case, Twitter followers)

• "If you're coming home from college and your parents are control freaks, remember that they really don't have any control over you most of the year. Control yourself and give them a few days to pretend."

• "If you have to lie down in bed to keep eating because sitting at the table takes too much energy, you should stop eating."

• "When sharing what you're thankful about, don't say, 'I'm thankful I only have to be home for three days. I forget how much this place sucked. Please pass the cranberry sauce. Mmmm, delish!'"

Happy Thanksgiving to all and may the Lions and Packers not put me (and America) to sleep, may the Raiders beat the Cowboys, and may the Broncos miraculously bounce back and beat the Giants.