Monday, May 18, 2009

The Good Doctor Is Leaving Us!

I must admit that when I first read the news this afternoon (right now is the first I've been around any sort of news for the day so bare with me here). But alas, we gathered here today to say goodbye to the one, the only, the man, the myth, the legend himself, Dr. Tony Kornheiser.

I have been crying for the past 3 hours over learning of this news. I just can't believe it. Why must he leave me like this? Why??? Why???? SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHY ON EARTH THE GREATEST ANALYST OF ALL TIME WOULD LEAVE US LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Wait a minute! Thanks to Awful Announcing, we finally have the reason why Dr. Kornheiser would ever do such a thing!!!! (oh, yeah, and something about a replacement named Jon Gruden Chucky)

Former Super Bowl-winning head coach Jon Gruden is joining ESPN’s Monday Night Football. The dynamic, outspoken and often fiery Gruden will join commentators Mike Tirico and Ron Jaworski in the booth when sports television’s signature series kicks off its 40th season this fall. Gruden will also contribute analysis throughout the year on ESPN Radio and other platforms, in addition to being a part of ESPN’s 2010 Pro Bowl telecast and Super Bowl and NFL Draft coverage.

Gruden replaces Tony Kornheiser, who has decided to step down after three years in the Monday Night Football booth.

“I would like to thank Tony Kornheiser for his many contributions to Monday Night Football the past three years,” said John Skipper, ESPN executive vice president, content. “He has been a big reason for the show’s success on ESPN. Pardon the Interruption is one of ESPN’s most important franchises and fans will continue to see Tony on the show and involved in other future ESPN projects for many years to come.”

Kornheiser added: “I am totally grateful for the MNF opportunity that I truly enjoyed the last three seasons. I feel we got better each year. My fear of planes is legendary and sadly true. When I looked at the upcoming schedule it was the perfect storm that would've frequently moved me from the bus to the air. I kept looking at the schedule the past month and wanted to find a way to quietly extricate myself. If I could handpick a replacement of a football guy, I would cast a net and drag in Jon Gruden. He is the two things you most want -- smart and funny -- and has the two things I don't -- good hair and a tan. I love PTI and am looking forward to continuing to yammer and yodel with Wilbon until the end of time.”
I still can't get over it!!!! Dr. Kornheiser is leaving us!!!!! NOOOO!!!!! I may never get over this national day of tragedy! Never! NEVER! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, enough of the over-the-top ridiculous sarcasm. And as surprising as it is (one would think ESPN would go with the experienced Matt Millen) that The Leader chose former Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach, Jon "Chucky" Gruden, he probably will be better in the booth than Dr. Kornheiser was. And for those that are late to the party and don't know why I call him Dr. Kornheiser, it's because of a quote during the Pats-Broncos MNF game last year where he said that he likes being in the broadcast booth because he likes to play doctor when players get injured and tries to diagnose their injuries. I'm pretty sure that everyone knows this running gag, but for those that are late to this party, here is why Jon Gruden is called Chucky.

The resemblemce is so.......scary. And to those who believe that Jon Gruden is just another new analyst for ESPN, consider this thought, everyone thought that Chucky was just a doll......

1 comment:

  1. I liked Kornheiser, except when he let himself get distracted by his Favre love. I guess i'm tired of ex-pros who are boring and refuse to criticize (Marino, Aikman, Gannon)or those who are so messed up they have no clue what's going on (Dierdorf, Cross, Ryan). I think there is a place for commentary by people who didn't play the game.


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