Sunday, April 12, 2009

You Guys Are Going To Love This Story

This has absolutely nothing to do with sports (actually, there is a brief tie-in to college basketball), but you guys are going to laugh out loud when you read this (probably).

As I believe I mentioned in an earlier post, I am home with my family for the weekend. And naturally, we wanted to do something fun for the weekend. We decided on seeing a movie tonight. I think you guys know where this is going, but I'll build the drama anyway. Guess what movie everyone in my family wanted to see? Yep, you guessed it. Observe and Report starring our favorite actor, Seth Rogan!

I tried to talk them out of it, but I decided to give it a shot anyway because they are my family. Besides, maybe this Seth Rogan movie would not be that bad. The previews did not give too much away about the plot so me being as open-minded as I am (and believe me, I am like this), I decided to give it a shot anyway. Yep, that's right, after all the bashing we did during March Madness, I ended up seeing Observe and Report! (My dad payed for all of us so it's not like I was personally giving Seth Rogan and co. money).

Anyway, let me just say, I really should have tried harder to NOT see it. It was just flat-out bad with very little funny parts. Hell, the only real funny part was the end. But back to the movie (If you're considering seeing the movie, take notes, I'm about to save you some cash), it felt like a bad TV show where they tried to fit in so many stories and plotlines that your mind wanted to explode. Generally comedies are straight up with 1 or 2 stories, this one had 88 one of them and none of them were that good. Let's see, there's a pervert terrorizing the mall by flashing females his junk, Rogan is a manic-depressant, he does not realize that his main squeeze is a 2-cent whore, his mother is an alcoholic, his best friend is a roober, and he wants to work for the police academy! Yep, all this in 86 minutes! And the funny part is, you'd think that with all the plot lines and the shortness of the movie, that it would feel quick, let me tell you what, I swear someone messed with our clocks and the 86-minutes on imdb is a typo because that movie felt like 186 minutes. It moved slower than molasses except for the end when it finally picked up. It's really sad when Seth Rogan chasing a naked pervert through the mall (complete with slow-mo ball-bouncing action) is the funniest part of any movie, but alas, that was the funniest part of the movie. That and the head of the police department (whom Seth Rogan's character butted heads with all movie, I forgot about that plot) sarcastically congratulating him for catching a pervert.

On the plus side of all this, I heard "Second Chance" by Shinedown on a mainstream, popish radio station, which I have not figured out is good or bad. It's good because Shinedown is pretty much my favorite band (Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, and Staind run a close 2nd) and I want more people to hear them and listen to their music and buy their album The Sound Of Madness because they are awesome and they absolutely kick ass, and bad, because I hope this does not lead them to selling out entirely to pop. And it's ironic that this is the album that produces their mainstream single because this is their heaviest album to date, in my opinion. Expect "Second Chance" to be Song of the Day real soon. And I'd like to personally thank Vince McMahon for getting me into Shinedown, if it was not for them using I Dare You (from their album, Us and Them) I would not have gotten into Shinedown in the first place (and American Idol afficionados will recognize I Dare You as a song that Chris Daughtry sang during his time on Idol).

You see this, Shinedown, I am advertising for you! I want subsidies out of this!

Sorry the length of this useless, non-sports related post, but it's 1:20 AM and sometimes I just feel like writing about everything and nothing regarding, well, everything and nothing. And this is one of those times. Just be thankful that I don't publish my powerful personal stories on here (as in regarding past experiences and current desires of certain members of the opposite sex, if you will).


  1. You need some Metallica in your IPod.

  2. Since Observe & Report finished fourth this weekend, I would say the movie-going public deserves some credit, but Fast & Furious made $118 million in two weeks and is getting another sequel.

    Just be thankful that I don't publish my powerful personal stories on here (as in regarding past experiences and current desires of certain members of the opposite sex

    Smart move. We don't need anymore admissions like this.

    /sorry, Andy

  3. How you remember that is beyond me, RJBO, but I gotta hand it to you, that was hilarious.

    Not a huge Metallica fan, 49er16.

  4. Be thankful you didn't see Hannah Montana The Movie.


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